Monday, March 25, 2013

A Sheroe Ain’t Nothin’ But A Sandwich

lil blk girl with headphones A Sheroe Aint Nothin But A Sandwich

I recently had a very bad break up.  It was with a woman.  OK, it was with several women.

The women of R & B to be exact.

What happened to all of those amazing women who scored the soundtrack of my life? My Sheroes. And what happened to artists like them?

For example, I was a die hard fan of Jill Scott and Erykah Badu.  These were two whose music was so honest and so relatable.  They expressed the good and bad of life and love in such a real way.

Jill’s lyrics were like poetry, life set to music.  You had been where she had been, thought what she had thought.  She said the things you were feeling and thinking and wondering.  Sometimes she was strong where you were weak.  She presented a woman who had figured it out and put it to music.

And Erykah, she was invincible.  She faced life head on and laid out its complexities in a way we all could relate to.  She was no angel, nor were we.  She was smart.  She was a woman who knew the power of her mind and wasn’t afraid to speak it.  She had the courage to be herself in a world of cookie-cutter clones.  She was daring, she was street, she was this unique spirit that seduced a generation of young quirky women and taught them that being clever was hot.

Most of us didn’t have it as rough as Mary J, and couldn’t relate to Beyonce’s freakishly good looks. And that’s precisely why female artists like this were important.  Jill and Erykah and India and Latifah and TLC looked like us, they sounded like us, their lives sounded like ours. They made natural hair cool again. They took young female angst, and made it beautiful and funky.

And now it’s 2013, and I wonder where have all the R & B sheroes gone off to? Who is now scoring the lives of our young women?

I think of the young women growing up in R & B today. There are few artists that address the wide possibilities for the lives of our young ladies.  Today, unless a young girl’s dreams relate to becoming a “star,” generically “making money,” having sex, going to a club, or getting hers before she gets got— her dreams are generally unrepresented in pop culture. Too many of them are conned into believing those are the only options they have for their lives.

Think about it, who can an 18-year old listen to today, that will make them feel like they can do anything? Like the possibilities for her life are endless? Who tells them that a man leaving her to raise a baby alone is not some rite of passage we all must inevitably go through? (I swear, it’s not!). Who lets them know that a fantastic relationship with someone who loves you is absolutely achievable? That you can have a great life without ever once popping your booty for a cell phone camera? That busting the windows out of the car is never an acceptable form of conflict resolution? Of all those female artists on the Billboard charts, who can a young women listen to in those moments when she’s feeling fat or ugly or rejected?

We are desperately missing the diversity among popular female artists that once made us all excited about our particular place in the world. We need the weirdos and lesbians and hippies and divas and ho-types all coexisting in a world where we actually have options about who we identify with, who moves us.

Yes, this is a very broad generalization. Absolutely, there are some great songs out there and great artists. Of course Ledisi is awesome and Janelle Monae is fantastically weird–but too often, these exceptions aren’t the ones shaping our young people at the time of their lives when music is most influential. Artists like those aren’t played 30 times a day on Radio Dumb One.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I think there is no place for the edgy and fucked up Rihanna or Prostitute Barbie, Nicki Minaj.  I just fear, that’s all we ever get anymore.

If you listen to the radio for one hour you would never know that we all don’t aspire to have baby daddy drama, rough sex or butt implants. (OK maybe rough sex, occasionally).  And wouldn’t it be so nice to see our individual uniqueness and weirdness and fabulousness and eccentricities played out in song? For those are the things that make each of us special.

But perhaps these days, its just too much to ask. Let’s face it–Rihanna’s a mess, Mariah Carey is creepy now, and Keyshia Coles is always yelling at you.  OK sure, Beyonce is wholesome, but she’s also creepy-perfect and rich and if I see her in that body suit one more time I’m gonna scream.  Plus, it’s extraordinary that a woman who has gleaned her success from a largely young female audience would release a song called “Bow Down Bitches.” I now choose to bow out. When Beyonce resorts to a hook telling bitches to bow down, the Endtimes can’t be far behind.

Meh. I don’t know.  I just long for a day when I could choose to listen to freaky bad songs, harmless nonsense songs, sad love songs or profoundly inspiring songs.  I’m afraid our girls today just don’t have much of a choice. Mess and sex as far as the eye can see. And knowing how broadly music shapes our popular culture, its a little scary.

Or perhaps, I’m off-base and everything is fine. And these are just the musings of a mean old lady, longing for that elusive pastime paradise, who is now waving an angry fist, telling contemporary music to, in essence, get off her lawn.

Either way, it’s time for my nap.

Peace people.

82 Responses to “A Sheroe Ain’t Nothin’ But A Sandwich”

  1. LaShantaNo Gravatar on 26 Mar 2013 at 1:08 pm #

    I cant help but agree with you! I can’t stand all the R & B songs by the female artists that make life and love all about the pain and heartbreak and sadness of life. What happened to being happy? With showing love with a smile? With being proud to stand on your own two feet, but being willing to let your man hold you, too? Songs today are so much like male rap music where they are now happy to be the other girl or one of his girls or the baddest B and other mess like that. I dont like the music today

  2. Alexei Tsybine (born andrei)No Gravatar on 27 Mar 2013 at 9:14 pm #

    Jam darlin, this may be the only time you and I disagree (except for the rough sex part – second that. And the opening lines were pretty hot :)). Yes, these are musings of an old lady. First of all, I agree–R&B is kind of dead, or heading that way. Which is a good thing–how much whining does this world really need. Erykah and Jill were/are soul – in the best tradition of folks that came before them. They were a rarity then, and they are a rarity now. But we do have Adele, who is proudly carrying the torch for soul music. And D’Angelo is coming back!

    And Erykah is hardly gone. She is is still making music, trying new things, and rocking shows. She’s moved on from the Baduism days, and that’s the way it should be, right? Progress.

    And maybe I’m firmly in my NY bubble, but kids’ interest are far more diverse these days than they were in the 90s. They have Santigold, Grimes. Corinne’s last album was amazing, though people largely slept on it. It’s not the same boring predictable plots, storylines and arrangements. Much love to Erykah, but it’s time to retire Tyrone.

    And kids are no longer stuck on R&B. The indie scene is strong, old school hip-hop gets plenty of respect. And while Frank Ocean is clearly not a she, if you want to talk modern R&B, he is definitely holding it down and bringing much more dimension to it than it had before. Must I remind of you “say my name say my name” and the rest of shit we had to put up with in the 90s?

    And Ledisi? Come on–that’s no better than having to listen to Kenny G on repeat (and I don’t care that Michelle likes her). As for RiRi and Nicki – they are pop stars. They were never R&B to begin with. Nicki used to be an emcee, I guess, but that’s a different story.

    Mua! Now back to rough sex. :) Missssss youuu!!

    Alexei Tsybine (born andrei)’s last blog post..Skater girls rock!

  3. Alexei Tsybine (born andrei)No Gravatar on 27 Mar 2013 at 9:53 pm #

    In fact, not only should Tyrone be retired, but the very idea that girls, black girls, need R&B to get their bearings needs to be retired. That shit is just as limiting as jokes that skiing is a white people thing. Janelle, Saul Williams, Andre, Erykah dropped it long time ago. It’s time for the rest of us to get with it. And the thing is, I think kids have. There is plenty of amazing music to go around. Not R&B – so what? Yes, the pop culture seems coarse these days. But kids also seem have more depth. Just check out some tumblr blogs or go to a skate park. And really, was it any different in the 30s? 70s?

    started from the bottom now we’re here, bitches! lol!

    Alexei Tsybine (born andrei)’s last blog post..Skater girls rock!

  4. jamdonaldsonNo Gravatar on 28 Mar 2013 at 8:44 pm #

    @ Alexei. My adult mind absolutely agrees with you. But I tried to write from the perspective of young urban girls. We can be proud that technology has created a vibrant independent music movement, I also know young women. I WISH Adele could be someone they listened to ( or even heard of). And sure Ledisi is the Kenny G o female R & B, however, that was just my point. I am specifically referencing popular culture–and the effect it has on young minds. Of course I still love Erykah and her music, but what will a 17 year old ever be exposed to her? This is not about the quality of music and artists–it’s more about the conglomerates have had such a strong role in shaping youth culture. As great as the internet is, many young people still look to the radio and 106th & Park to see what’s hot. And I feel that is having a detrimental impact on the community at large.

    Unfortunately, the Powers That Be have decided what everyone will listen to on public airwaves (for now), I just hope that the young women growing up today take advantage of the broad panoply of artists out there. It’s just that I’m afraid too many won’t and then what will they be left with ?

  5. jamdonaldsonNo Gravatar on 28 Mar 2013 at 8:51 pm #

    @ Alexei, I think you underestimate the effect music has on young minds. They say that the music we listen to between the ages of 12-17, has the biggest influence on our development. And sure, it would be great if we could retire the women/R & B trope, but the truth is that many of our cultural cues are transmitted through music. And when the music is shit, what comes next? I certainly don’t want to exaggerate the impact, but having been a young black girl, I can say that the music of the formative years is powerful, whatever that music may be. And if I was confident that young women were exposed to a balanced world through music–totally fine. It’s not about the music, it’s about pounding such negative messages into the minds of girls who already, as teenagers, have enough self-doubt, esteem issues, and confusion for all of us. I can take the negativity, I just them to have some balance and some options that they don’t have to surf the underbelly of the internet to find.

  6. Alexei Tsybine (born andrei)No Gravatar on 28 Mar 2013 at 9:18 pm #

    My 11-yr play nephew, who lives in East New York of all places, just asked me to put some Adele on his ipod. But I take your more general point. I’m around fewer kids these days, but they seem to be doing alright. Yes, there are no sweet Mariah songs (that part of mainstream R&B I do miss), but hey, I’m sure you were bopping and then some to some Luke when you were young and look – you are perfectly well-adjusted grown-up. So, yes, would be nice to have more balance, but I don’t know if things are that dire.

    Alexei Tsybine (born andrei)’s last blog post..Something different

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