Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Am I A Bad Black Woman? Vol. 1
Though we don’t like to admit it, there are certain feelings that, as a woman and specifically as a black woman, I’m supposed to have. African Americans are pretty legendary for our “blackness” litmus tests. Add being a woman on top of that, and the community can be pretty demanding about what you should and shouldn’t think.
Well, I’m here to confess my Internal Blackness Violations (IBVs). I’m finally going to get it all off my chest. These are things I often think, but dare not say. Until now.
And while many of my most secret thoughts may undermine my legitimacy as a black woman, I must let them out before I explode. I warn you. It’s not pretty.
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1. I think Michelle Obama is kinda funny looking.
2. I could care less about that hoopla over Reggie Bush being on the cover of Essence and even less about who he dates.
3. I think the WNBA is full of ugly lesbians (not that anything’s wrong with that).
4. I think Michael Steele is embarrassingly inarticulate.
5. I think many of Tom Joyner’s “Little-Known Black History Facts” are, in fact, not true.
6. Women sportscasters, police officers and soldiers make me uncomfortable. Pam Oliver not withstanding, I just haven’t gotten comfortable with women in those positions yet. I want a man to show up to my 911 call. Sorry Gloria Steinem.
7. I think Kwanzaa is stupid. (And too damn complicated)
8. Sometimes I say in my head, ‘I’m glad my hair isn’t as nappy as hers.’
9. I think David Brooks is right more than he is wrong.
10. I think Tyra was getting too big.
11. (As a single black woman) I’m sick of hearing black women complain about being single. Read a book.
12. I think Michael Baisden is silly, loud and annoying, and that most of the people that call his show are morons.
13. The bitter black women wing of the blogosphere is so tired. They all just need to get laid. Outrage-obsessed black women are sooooo 20th century.
14. I’ve never liked Teena Marie’s voice. I think she sounds terrible.
15. Whenever they start to play reggae music at a party, I go sit down.
16. I secretly think all Nigerians are gonna rip me off. Sorry.
17. I haven’t bought a Mary J. Blige album since “What’s the 411.”
Whew! The first step is admitting the problem and being honest with yourself. Okay, now I can sleep tonight.
Do you have any IBVs?
Peace, people.
BigBlackAfrica
on 27 Jan 2010 at 4:47 pm #
Jam, I’m with you on more than a few of your IBVs.
I guess my biggie is the fact that “nigga” is still in my vocab even tho Im quite lexiphonic…
TK
on 27 Jan 2010 at 6:10 pm #
(All) My thoughts exactly. Especially the one about Michael Baisden. How he got so many people fooled into believing some of the crap he says on his show is amazing. I’ve stopped listening, but every now and then I tune in to hear what nonsense they are talking about. And please don’t even get me started on that non-funny George Wilborn.
ODenise925
on 27 Jan 2010 at 8:08 pm #
OMG! I thought I was the only one in the world who was completely untrusting of Nigerians. As soon as someone SAYS they are Nigerian, I walk away. And I really don’t care what anyone feels about it. I love that we are on the same wavelengths.
Esquire
on 27 Jan 2010 at 11:24 pm #
Jam, I read your article in Ebony and I just had to check out your blog. Awesome!! I have more than my share of IBVs. So many that there’s probably a warrant out for me. Here’s an IBV for you, I hate that so many black peeople voted for B.O. solely because he’s black. I’sn’t he as much white as he is black?
Footso
on 27 Jan 2010 at 11:27 pm #
My IBV: I didn’t vote for President Obama because he was black. That wasn’t enough for me.
Melba
on 28 Jan 2010 at 11:03 am #
right on about points 1, 5, 7, 11, 12, and 16
Kinky Pudding
on 28 Jan 2010 at 11:21 am #
Jam, I’m with you on all but #8. I mean, I hate to stereotype my own people (yeah, right) but too many sistahs feel that way, so I think #8 leaves your Black card in tact, sadly.
As for my IBV: I’m secretly proud to have “Eurocentric” first, middle and last names. Looks great on resumes! lol
Mamadoc
on 28 Jan 2010 at 11:34 am #
I’ve had to be okay with my IBVs since I was a child but I do get a laugh from them every now & again. Happy to see I’m not the only one.
Thanks for being you!
Mamadoc’s last blog post..All of Us
Mamadoc
on 28 Jan 2010 at 11:36 am #
Oh, now I think my biggest IBV is not having to be fed in order to attend or participate in an event I feel will be beneficial for me and others.
Mamadoc’s last blog post..All of Us
Nana Ataa
on 28 Jan 2010 at 1:32 pm #
You’re not bad, you’re real. And hilarious! I think I have too many IBV’s to list…But I can start with the Black greek system - sororities and fraternities-don’t like ‘em, don’t agree with the concept or the process.Too much of the herd mentality for me.
Professor Diva Mac on 28 Jan 2010 at 9:09 pm #
Wow Jam you’ve been reading my mind especially about Baisden, Tom Joyner, we also need to add Steve Harvey to the list.
Professor Diva Mac’s last blog post..Even Divas Get Sick
Flea
on 28 Jan 2010 at 9:50 pm #
I should confess I also haven’t bought a Mary J. Blige album since “What’s the 411.â€
Flea’s last blog post..The Earth is just too small and fragile a basket for the human race to keep all its eggs in
Dr. Kiti
on 28 Jan 2010 at 10:31 pm #
Right on once again. I thought I was just being bourgie (or however the hell you spell it) and on the verge of being stuck up.
P.S. I hate when my hair gets that ‘needs a touch up’ look to it. I feel so nappy (which really isn’t a bad thing) and like all the polite white people who compliment me are lying.
IlÃon
on 28 Jan 2010 at 11:20 pm #
“11. (As a single black woman) I’m sick of hearing black women complain about being single. ”
If a man (with no African ancestry) may make a comment … it seems to me, as someone who grew up in majority-black neighborhoods and schools, that one reason so many black women are single when they don’t want to be is that so many black women do not respect black men as men. That and putting out, imagining that commitment and respect will follow from demonstrating that one does not respect oneself.
You know, essentially the same problems that white women have, just more abundantly.
AML
on 29 Jan 2010 at 12:34 am #
ALL of the above (except Teena). I LOVE that she sounds like a barn hen because I do too! Same for SWV and Maaary. In fact, I think to call her the Queen of R&B only means the search continues.
As I’m wating for my after-perm conditioner to timeout I thought I’d take a read. Lo and behold, my guilt for perming after 3 months (eff you Chris Rock!) I’m not the only one hating on my roots.
Once again, you CRACK ME UP!!!
Anonymous on 29 Jan 2010 at 1:47 am #
IBV: I don’t need to hear an ghetto jingle on the radio to make me go out and vote. I think it’s insulting!
John West
on 29 Jan 2010 at 1:59 am #
On #1 we agree. Her face looks to small for the rest of her. Her eyes look too big for the rest of her face.
On #11 I suggest you marry a white guy. They are more likely to stick with you.
Lover your blog.
Mojo
on 29 Jan 2010 at 4:02 am #
My inner black voice feels that…
Mary J. Blige is waaaay overrated. So is Idris Elba non acting ass. He flatter than left out soda.
Black folks who play victim…*aaaaaarrrrrrrrrgh*
Sororities and Fraternities are herd mentalities…*thanks above poster*
Hates when black folks don’t like to eat more than soul food. It irritates the shit out of me…
Thinks that West Africans owe African Americans an apology for slavery…they know damn well they sold us for gun powder and trinkets…
I get irked when I see yet another single black mother…I know *ouch*…Especially the ones that want badges of honor for holding it down alone…Black women need to choose better.
Hate when black folks act like there wasn’t a concept of God before Jesus…when the truth is how you gonna put a face on a supreme being?
I also get annoyed by venomous bloggers like Sandra Rose & Crunk… who make money talking trash about folks …in the meantime…one look like a burnt cockroach and the other an eggplant. I mean how convenient is it that they pop shit behind a computer screen…and no one gets at them?
I don’t like watching women play basketball. I’ll take Kobe, Lebron anyday before some mannish looking chic…I think that women should have the right to do whatever she chooses, but I still FEEL that some things should be kept in a man’s threshold…
Marc
on 29 Jan 2010 at 7:54 am #
You’re not a bad Black Woman, you’re an honest Black Woman. With enough spine to stand up to today’s trends, fashions and political correctness.
Charles
on 29 Jan 2010 at 8:20 am #
#1. I don’t particularly care for the Oprah show or Oprah. (I do respect what she’s accomplished but her show just ain’t destination TV for me).
#2. I think a lot of the crap black women say about us as black men is true seeing as how none of my married friends are faithful, and the single ones are trifling. (Hell maybe that says more about my choice of friends… Hmmmm they do say “birds of a feather” I better re-evaluate my damn self)
#3. Prince hasn’t made any music I want to listen to in at least 20 years. I keep getting it because OMG its a new Prince song but they just haven’t been that good.
#4. The Harlem, Cupid, Electric, and Cha-Cha Shuffle dances are stupid as hell to me!
#5. I immediately write off any woman black or white who admit to talking relationship advice from Steve Harvey.
Jaye
on 29 Jan 2010 at 2:15 pm #
A Few of my IBV’s:
1) I think the whole Madea series is played and lacks creativity. I mean how many times can she mispronounce the same words? I find myself enjoying Tyler Perry’s movies when there is less Madea, and I absolutely loathe The Browns and House of Payne and I get embarrassed when my white friends mention that they watch those shows.
2) I hate when I go to a fast food restaurant and the person taking the order in the drive thru or at the counter can not speak English, only Ebonics. I think that person should be required to take a course in proper English as a condition of continued employment.
3) I don’t mourn for Michael Jackson, but for the lost little boy that never had a real childhood. I really couldn’t care less that the wierdo man died.
4) And the list goes on…
MZPoodle1
on 29 Jan 2010 at 7:59 pm #
Now I will agree with the Michelle Obama thing. She’s got a weird eye and teeth thing going on. I guess my IBV is not kissing your ass on the site all the time, like most. Sometimes I just find the stuff you say to be utterly ridiculous. You always talk about black women complaining, but the basis of your blog is to bitch and complain about black community. Just annoys me, that’s all. *shrug*
Oh, and I also agree that Michael Baisden is annoying as shit.
Des
on 29 Jan 2010 at 8:54 pm #
Thank god I CANT STAND bobby jones GOSPEL SHOW EVERYBODY LOVES HIM…ALL I HEAR IS “HE STARTED IT ALL”, BUT HE SO CORNY AND HE DEFINITELY ON THE FUNNY SIDE… CAN WE SAY TAMBOURINE PLAYER!!! WHATS UP WITH ALL THESE GAYS IN THE CHURCH???? P.S I HAVE NO HELL OR HEAVEN TO PUT ANYONE IN, BUT WHATS REALLY GUD??? YOU THINK IT COULD HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH A LACK OF MALES IN THE HOUSEHOLD, AND MAMA, GRANDMOTHER RAISING THESE FRUITS
Say it Loud
on 30 Jan 2010 at 8:10 pm #
Wow, I am so glad I found this site. I feel so much better about venting my own IBVs!
Totally agree with #7. I mean really, why “make up” our own holiday then rip off the candles from Hanukkah!
My Own:
Bill Cosby told the TRUTH about SOME black people not properly managing their finances.
I think ALL of the Jamaicans, Nigerians, etc. REALLY do think they are better than us “common black folks.”
Say it Loud
on 30 Jan 2010 at 8:16 pm #
I also roll my eyes every time I hear that Jessie Jackson is involved in something.
Richard McMillan
on 31 Jan 2010 at 12:37 am #
You are a brave, honest woman! The world needs more like you.
WB
on 31 Jan 2010 at 5:06 pm #
31 y.o. married black man here. Let’s see:
1. I absolutely despise Tyler Perry movies. I respect him; I think it’s awesome what he has become, but he is a horrible director and screenplay writer. His movies are shallow, simple, and overdramatic.
2. I roll my eyes whenever Michael Eric Dyson speaks. You’re a black academic and intellectual that hasn’t been whitewashed…WE GET IT!!!
3. Save for a few albums, I think the majority of hip-hop from the previous decade was utter garbage. Hey, I was raised in the 80s and 90s, I know what really hip-hop is supposed to sound like.
afrobrotha on 31 Jan 2010 at 9:35 pm #
So let’s see what you look like…
THERREN DUNHAM
on 01 Feb 2010 at 6:43 pm #
1. I think Michelle Obama is kinda funny looking.
[DON’T WE ALL LOOK KINDA FUNNY TO SOME DEGREE?]
2. I could care less about that hoopla over Reggie Bush being on the cover of Essence and even less about who he dates.
[AGREED. THOUGH I NO LONGER LOOK AT THE MAG THE SAME SINCE IT’S NO LONGER BLACK-OWNED.]
3. I think the WNBA is full of ugly lesbians (not that anything’s wrong with that).
[AS IF! ]
4. I think Michael Steele is embarrassingly inarticulate.
[WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY HE’S THE CHAIR OF THE GOP. (THE BASTARDIZATION OF) AFFIRMATIVE ACTION AT WORK.]
5. I think many of Tom Joyner’s “Little-Known Black History Facts†are, in fact, not true.
[FAIL! THE LKBHFs ARE BASED ON RESEARCH FROM AMERICAN LEGACY MAGAZINE (DISCLAIMER: I’M A SUBSCRIBER), AND THE MAGAZINE AND ITS PUBLISHER, RODNEY J. REYNOLDS, ARE LEGIT.]
6. Women sportscasters, police officers and soldiers make me uncomfortable. Pam Oliver not withstanding, I just haven’t gotten comfortable with women in those positions yet. I want a man to show up to my 911 call. Sorry Gloria Steinem.
[NO-GO! AS A (MALE) SOLDIER, I DON’T CARE IF THE GUY COVERING MY BACK IS A WOMAN, GAY OR A COCKER SPANIEL. DITTO FOR THE PERSON PULLING ME OUT OF A BURNING HOUSE OR SAVING ME FROM A DRIVE-BY. AND SPEAKING OF PAM OLIVER’S UGLY ASS, WE NEED MORE EYE CANDY. LESS NINEHEAD, MORE SAGE STEELE. POINT IS, SHOULDN’T ONE ASK ABOUT MORE BLACK WOMEN IN SPORTSCASTING THAN LESS WOMEN IN GENERAL?]
7. I think Kwanzaa is stupid. (And too damn complicated)
[SO DON’T CELEBRATE IT, I DON’T. IT’S JUST AS MADE UP AS CHRISTMAS, EASTER (THOSE ARE PAGAN, Y’ALL) AND THANKSGIVING. ]
8. Sometimes I say in my head, ‘I’m glad my hair isn’t as nappy as hers.’
[OR MINE, ON SOME DAYS? LOL!]
9. I think David Brooks is right more than he is wrong.
[BECAUSE HE’S MORE OBJECTIVE THAN MOST ON EITHER SIDE OF THE LINE.]
10. I think Tyra was getting too big.
[KINDA WHY SHE LOST 30 POUNDS, EH? HATER.]
11. (As a single black woman) I’m sick of hearing black women complain about being single. Read a book.
[SEE #13]
12. I think Michael Baisden is silly, loud and annoying, and that most of the people that call his show are morons.
[I AGREE WITH THE FIRST PART (THE CHAIR FORCE DIDN’T DO THIS MAN A LICK OF GOOD), BUT THE SECOND PART IS UNFAIR. WHAT WOULD YOUR DETRACTORS CALL YOUR FOLLOWERS?]
13. The bitter black women wing of the blogosphere is so tired. They all just need to get laid. Outrage-obsessed black women are sooooo 20th century.
[AND YET THIS WOMAN HAS A WEBSITE, A SHOW ON BET (THE VERY PURVEYOR OF ALL THE THINGS SHE GETS PISSY ABOUT), AND THIS BLOG TO EXPRESS HER OUTRAGE?!! REALLY?!! IT’S ONE THING TO TAKE A STAND; TO BE A HYPOCRITE ABOUT IT IS A TOTALLY DIFFERENT THING.]
14. I’ve never liked Teena Marie’s voice. I think she sounds terrible.
[HER RECORD SALES SAY OTHERWISE. IMPLIED THEME HERE: THE PEOPLE YOU’RE DISSING AREN’T LOSING A MOMENT’S SLEEP OVER WHAT YOU THINK OF THEM PUBLICLY. WHY POST THIS?]
15. Whenever they start to play reggae music at a party, I go sit down.
[BECAUSE YOU CAN’T DANCE ANYWAY? ELABORATION, PLEASE.]
16. I secretly think all Nigerians are gonna rip me off. Sorry.
[BECAUSE YOU GOT CONNED IN ONE OF THOSE DECADES-OLD BANK WIRE SCAMS? DUMBASS.]
17. I haven’t bought a Mary J. Blige album since “What’s the 411.â€
[MJB’S ACCOUNTANT HUMBLY REPLIES: “DON’T WORRY; THERE ARE PLENTY OF PEOPLE WHO DID. AND MS. BLIGE FEELS NO NEED TO JUSTIFY YOUR COMMENT WITH A RESPONSE.†(HELL, YOU ACTUALLY BOUGHT WHAT’S THE 411?)
IlÃon
on 01 Feb 2010 at 6:49 pm #
“1. I think Michelle Obama is kinda funny looking.
[DON’T WE ALL LOOK KINDA FUNNY TO SOME DEGREE?]”
I think the point is about all that media gushing about what a stunningly beautiful woman Mrs Obama is … when, in fact, she ain’t.
IlÃon’s last blog post..Oops! He did it again!
THERREN DUNHAM
on 01 Feb 2010 at 9:39 pm #
Personally, I do find the First Lady to be stunningly beautiful, whether her husband is the POTUS or not. But that’s just me. But as for your point, to each his or her own; I don’t think anybody should point out other people’s alleged flaws without acknowledging one’s own.
The absence of flaw in beauty is itself a flaw.
—Havelock Ellis
IlÃon
on 01 Feb 2010 at 11:09 pm #
“… I don’t think anybody should point out other people’s alleged flaws without acknowledging one’s own.”
That’s rather silly.
IlÃon’s last blog post..Black History Month 2010
THERREN DUNHAM
on 01 Feb 2010 at 11:20 pm #
Really? How so? Better yet: are you prepared to show us an example of your physical perfection? Or, since I’ve never heard of you, nor have seen your image grace the pages of any publication, is said question moot?
Again, to be clear, I have no issues with your thoughts on Mrs. Obama one way or the other. I just hope you’re not caught up on one of these “gotcha” websites in an unflattering position (say, just waking up this morning?) and have the world judge your looks and the quirks that come with them.
Oh, and no need to point out how your people think you are beautiful, nor is it necessary to post any pics. I trust that you are beautiful in your own right, and as God created you in His own image, I take Him at His word.
IlÃon
on 02 Feb 2010 at 5:26 am #
“Again, to be clear, I have no issues with your thoughts on Mrs. Obama one way or the other.”
Obviously.
“Really? How so? Better yet: are you prepared to show us an example of your physical perfection? Or, since I’ve never heard of you, nor have seen your image grace the pages of any publication, is said question moot?”
And, just as obviously, you don’t know how to reason.
The fact that Mrs Obama is not stunningly beautiful, and the fact that anyone with eyes knows that she’s not, have no relationship to my lack of physical perfection.
No one here has said that Mrs Obama is ugly:
1) Our host said that she secretly thinks Mrs Obama “looks funny.â€
2) You passive-aggressively attacked our host’s right to even have the opinion, much less to express it.
3) I explained why I think our host has the opinion in the first place — I suspect that were not the media constantly patronizing Mrs Obama (and us) by gushing about what a great beauty she is, few would ever have thought about the matter.
4) You then explicitly asserted to me the silly sentiment behind your passive-aggressively attack on our host’s right to think … and express … her own thoughts.
IlÃon’s last blog post..Black History Month 2010
THERREN DUNHAM
on 02 Feb 2010 at 4:48 pm #
And you, apparently, could use an all-expenses-paid trip to Camp Get-A-Grip. (some exclusions apply).
I fail to see how one mistakes civil discourse, even when making an opposing opinion, as passive agressiveness, but I guess reading for comprehension isn’t your strong suit, too.
Obama’s looks are not a matter of fact, but CONJECTURE. No one dissed the author’s right to express her opinion, or even asked her (or YOU) to defend it. And for the record, I believe Ms. Donaldson doesn’t need YOU to validate what she posts.
If you look at the original post, at least once I asked for clarity and elaboration. Nothing wrong with that. And if you so much believe that the First Lady is being patronized by the media, then how come you didn’t say so in the beginning? This is only as issue because people like you choose to make it so. Don’t get mad at the rest of us.
Hell, why are you holding on this this ONE point–ONE point out of SEVENTEEN–so strongly? Does it really mean that much to you to be able to say that you think that one particular woman is funny-looking? Really? What about the rest of what I had to say? This CAN’T be all that you care about, is it?
And finally, to claim one is speaking explicitly while acting passively agressive is a non sequitr beyong words. If you have a point to make, make the damn point and move on. Defensiveness is not reason, and projecting your own insecurities to people who disagree with you in order to prop up your flaccid ego makes not one iota of opinion into facts.
You have an opinion. I respectfully disagree. Get over it.
THERREN DUNHAM
on 02 Feb 2010 at 4:55 pm #
“The fact that Mrs Obama is not stunningly beautiful, and the fact that anyone with eyes knows that she’s not, have no relationship to my lack of physical perfection.”
I will grant you that there is indeed no correlation between how you see Mrs. Obama and how others may see you. But if you understood the meaning behind the Ellis quote in my original post, then perhaps you wouldn’t find so much fault with what I had to say.
And NO, Mrs. Obama doesn’t need me to defend her looks, either.
MZPoodle1
on 04 Feb 2010 at 10:01 am #
THERREN DUNHAM, You are my fucking hero! YES! YES! YES!
judycoco
on 06 Feb 2010 at 8:15 pm #
got to agree with Therren too. do you have a blog, dude?
btw, the hgm website was better when you could do a slideshow of the photos. can you bring back that feature, please? that might resolve the slowness issue.
love the diversity of opinions - but it feels like there is an abundancy of self-hatred goin on in the original list and some of the comments. therapy may help, perhaps? (with love, with love, as Michael Jackson said)
IlÃon
on 06 Feb 2010 at 8:53 pm #
Agree with Mr Dunham all you want … he clearly is not interested in reasoning.
IlÃon’s last blog post..Repeal the 17th
IlÃon
on 06 Feb 2010 at 8:56 pm #
“… but it feels like there is an abundancy of self-hatred goin on in the original list and some of the comments. therapy may help, perhaps?”
This is meaningless psycho-babble which is being employed to try to force Miss Donaldson back into the “approved” group-think mindset for black persons.
IlÃon’s last blog post..Repeal the 17th
THERREN DUNHAM
on 06 Feb 2010 at 10:25 pm #
“Agree with Mr Dunham all you want … he clearly is not interested in reasoning.”
[(SIGH). Dude, people agree with me because the just happen to feel what I'm saying. I'm sure there's just as many people who don't. It's okay that we have different points of view. Don't take it so personally. And by the way, what are YOU interested in? Honestly? Why are you so fixated in everybody in cyberspace walking in lockstep with the tripe you put out? I mean if they do, more power to them, but my God, man. Psycho-babble? "Approved" group mindset? Really? Can you really be more condescending? Is there anything more respectful to any group of people than one who is not among them talking down to said group for not taking in his views? So, what, we're supposed to be damnned to our iniquity because we don't drink your Flav-o-Aid? Sorry, Rev. Jones, but this Negro doesn't need YOU to bang your tambourine in my face because I won't convert. You only insult people for supposed groupthink because they individually refused to follow you. But I'M the unreasonable one? Maybe at times, yes. But you've shown yourself to be little more than an ideologue, a charlatan, and basically a fucking fraud. Go sell your wolf tickets somewhere else.]
THERREN DUNHAM
on 06 Feb 2010 at 10:30 pm #
“Is there anything more respectful to any group of people than one who is not among them talking down to said group for not taking in his views?”
[Sorry, folks; I meant to say DISRESPECTFUL. Sometimes the blatant ignorance of this dope affects my typing when I try to make a salient argument. My apologies for the confusion.]
Dyan
on 08 Feb 2010 at 10:08 pm #
Jam, you’re kinda funny looking yourself.
Michelle
on 09 Feb 2010 at 4:48 pm #
My IBV’s
Women in this day and age with several kids and several baby daddies. I mean enough is enough.
IlÃon
on 09 Feb 2010 at 8:58 pm #
Michelle,
Does that really make you bad (as a black woman)?
Or does it mean that you’ve become willing to admit that you are seeing through some of the various techniques that “liberals” (*) employ to enrich and/or empower themselves at your, and my, expense?
(*) I specifically mean race-hustlers, such as Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, and poverty-pimps, such as most any white Democratic politician.
IlÃon’s last blog post..Palm-gate
G
on 10 Feb 2010 at 12:42 am #
1. I don’t really like crown royal everyone I know thinks it’s the drink of choice. I really don’t think it tastes good
2. AL Sharpton and Jesse Jackson does not speak for the entire black race.
3. Your blackness is not measured by how poor you were growning up.
CK_One
on 10 Feb 2010 at 2:10 am #
1. I don’t think Tyler Perry’s television shows or movies are funny. I don’t want a message when I watch tv or go to the movies. I want to be entertained.
2. Monique’s “keeping it real” persona is fake. She’s just loud.
3. Idris Elba (sp) isn’t good looking.
4. Essence magazine’s monthly stories about black women’s health issues, finances and male/female relationships are depressing.
5. I don’t refer to black females as sistas, my mother as momma or my father as pop. The same can be said about my grandmother being called madea.
6. I buy Hallmark Mahogany cards.
7. I don’t think the Academy is prejudice if a black actress or actor is not nominated for an Oscar.
8. Not all black people decorate their homes with African masks, animal prints
9. Just because we’re both black females and work together, doesn’t mean that I want to gossip with you. It’s the work place, not the fence post.
G
on 10 Feb 2010 at 11:56 am #
4.Being a black person I think some black peope are to loud in public
Anonymous on 10 Feb 2010 at 5:13 pm #
IlÃon
Michelle,
Does that really make you bad (as a black woman)?
I am not really sure what you meant by that but I clearly wrote “Women who have several kids and several baby daddies”. No matter what the race in this day and age women with several kids, several baby daddies and never been married is a damn shame. I’m just saying call it what YOU want.
Michelle on 10 Feb 2010 at 5:15 pm #
IlÃon
“Michelle,
Does that really make you bad (as a black woman)?”
I am not really sure what you meant by that but I clearly wrote “Women who have several kids and several baby daddiesâ€. No matter what the race in this day and age women with several kids, several baby daddies and never been married is a damn shame. I’m just saying call it what YOU want.
IlÃon
on 10 Feb 2010 at 5:47 pm #
Michelle,
The title of this post is, “Am I A Bad Black Woman?” and the subject matter is the questioning of the litmus test(s) of “approved” attitudes or beliefs that black Americans are “allowed” to have.
I asked you whether whatever YOU want to call it really makes you bad — meaning, of course not.
IlÃon’s last blog post..Before Pornistan
THERREN DUNHAM
on 10 Feb 2010 at 7:59 pm #
G,
1. I don’t drink, so to me that’s fairly universal. Though I would say that I often lament the way our communities are bombarded by ads for the cheap stuff (fortified wines and malt liquors), while the Cristals and the Hennesseys are almost NEVER advertised in said neighborhoods. And yet, THAT’s what we flaunt while succumbing to conspicuous consumption.
2. I personally believe that white people want to believe that the likes of Sharpton and Jackson represent all black people because they don’t want to account to racial issues with the ordinary black people they see everyday.
3. Agree wholeheartedly; in fact, I submit that much of that comes from the fact that our race is DEFINED by our poor, DEFINED by our failures, and DEFINED by our inability to conform to the (white) mainstream. (Your take, Ilion?)
THERREN DUNHAM
on 10 Feb 2010 at 8:01 pm #
Michelle, please ignore this condescending windbag. He’s just picking on you because you can carry an original thought without having a hissy fit if others don’t see it your way. Whatever IBVs you have, you just walk forward in YOUR truth, not anyone else’s.
B
on 10 Feb 2010 at 11:32 pm #
My IBV is that I prefer white men….
Nicole
on 14 Feb 2010 at 2:54 pm #
Jam, Thank you for starting this conversation.
I hate that we think that the world owes us something and the reason we don’t have it is because the “The Man” is preventing us from getting it. No we are preventing ourselves from getting it because we are lazy and don’t want to go and get it. Remember its the pursuit of happiness.
My IBV - I’m tired of our community applauding “single” moms. First of all, I have yet to meet a woman who is actually raising her child alone. Every “single” mom I know gets help from her mom, grandma, sister, aunt, brother, cousin, best friend, neighbor, etc. Secondly, why do I get LESS respect and adoration because I made a conscious decision to wait until I was married to have kids?
latisha
on 17 Feb 2010 at 10:08 pm #
As a female in the military, even thought I find it offensive that people feel uncomfortable about women in positions such as the military or police officers. There were women who ran into those towers and there is women fighting war. I just find it a little old fashion that people think that way.
And I am shocked that some people find that WNBA is filled of “UGLY” Lesbians. I mean really? who are you to judge a person if they are ugly or not? and if they are lesbians so what? I could careless they are doing something constructive besides what other young women are doing in the streets now a days.
But I am glad to know that some women think that way. It brings me back to earth and of course it doesn’t make them a bad black woman if they do think that way. Everybody has opinion, I just wanted to get mine out.
IlÃon
on 17 Feb 2010 at 11:50 pm #
Latisha,
The point of the military is not to validate you (nor to validate any man); the point is to “break things and kill people”
Having women in the military frequently militates against the whole point (it rather depends upon how the women serve). Moreover, pretending that women are equivalent to men (and men equivalent to women) is a recipe for disaster, both socially and militarily.
Likewise, it is totally irrelevant that “There were women who ran into those towers†— the point of the emergency services is not to validate any woman (nor any man); the point is to save lives in dangerous emergencies. Women do not have the necessary bodily strength … women in the emergency services are as great a liability to the mission as I would be.
AND (in both the military and the emergency services), given that it is natural and proper that men protect women, women are actually a greater liability than a man who does not belong there, for they become distractions to the men who do belong there.
And it really doesn’t matter whether what I have said is “old fashioned.†Reality doesn’t bow to fashion, and reality *always* wins.
IlÃon’s last blog post..This is boring — yet necessary
THERREN DUNHAM
on 18 Feb 2010 at 9:34 am #
No,asshole, the point of our military is to protect our nation’s citizens and to defend our interests within and beyond our borders.
That said, I always shake my head when I hear people speak of women serving our nation and communities as some sort of ‘liability’ or an attempt to ‘validate’ themselves. What a sorry, ungrateful lot.
Without the efforts of the over 200,000 women servicewomen, our defense efforts would be sorely hampered. There’s more to our mission than just idly ‘breaking things and killing people (an asinine assumption only rendered by the simpletons among us who never dared to put on a uniform);’ and though women have access to only 74% of the MOS (military occupational specialties) avaliable, each and every one of them plays a vital role in what we do.
Women have served in every war since the revolution (officially or not), and have earned every distinction and honor we have, including the POW medal, the Bronze and Silver Stars (with “V” devices for valor), the Purple Heart, and, yes, the Medal of Honor.
But more specifically to your point, Illion, it is absolutely relevant to depict accurately who was there in those towers and who wasn’t. You can’t tell the full story without that perspective. And diminishing what they did that morning trivializes every emergency service worker in the world: heroism and courage knows neither gender nor assumed physical ability. And in that regard, stats mean nothing. I’m sure the people who were saved by them didn’t give a damn that they had cleavage.
The enemy is the person who will get you killed, no matter who’s side he’s on, and I will take five dedicated women who want to help over 50 of the likes of you. Not because you’d be a liability, as you said, but because I am a firm believer that any person who thinks one is above serving in any capacity with someone–anyone–is unworthy of standing with them. Your arrogance and divisiveness would be the distraction, not your ability. And in a crisis situation, that simply is an unacceptable condition.
Your opinions are not old fashioned, they are archaic and obsolete. Anyone who’s ever picked up a history book or watched a news channel can clearly understand that what wins isnt our notions of reality and fashion. It’s the quiet, enduring dedication of our fighting men and women who toil in the desert, or emergency techniciand who deal with blood and vomit through the night, while you luxuriate on your mommy’s couch drinking Five Alive.
I take that back: Service above self never goes out of fashion.
THERREN DUNHAM
on 18 Feb 2010 at 6:11 pm #
OK, I’d like to add some of my own IBVs:
1. I think Crispus Attucks should’ve had a federal holiday before Martin Luther King, and anyone who believes otherwise is woefully short-sighted. Sorry.
2. I think any woman wearing a hairpiece (cancer patients and alopecia sufferers excluded) is just too lazy to do and care for her hair. I’d sooner date a woman with hair the consistency of an old Brillo pad than one with a weave.
3. With precious few exceptions, I can’t stand gospel music.
4. Sometimes I feel the white man’s ice is cooler. Not because he has a superior product, but because he gives superior service.
5. Lynn Swan should be proof positive that black folks don’t vote for black candidates just because they happen to be black…
6. …And on that note, if conservatives had enough of a brain, if not courage, to groom and promote candiated who aren’t afraid to engage black people and listen to the issues important to them (think Mike Huckabee), the GOP would be the party in power for the next 50 years.
7. Personally, I don’t give a shit about Rosa Parks. CLAUDETTE COLVIN is my hero (and when are we gonna show HER some love?). And I think those who still take issue with OutKast’s song are even more ridiculous.
8. Although I’m a long-time subscriber, I find Black Enterprise to be an elitist publication.
9. To the black people who choose to adorn themselves with artifacts from their colleges, Greek organizations, branches of service, sports teams and designer labels: You’re not special. You’re just desperate for attention.
10. I think Pan-Africanism is a false premise.
11. I am a firm believer in public schools. No one of any consequence has yet to emerge from a charter school.
12. I feel that the civil rights movement was a mysoginistic (sic.), elitist bastardization of DuBois’ Talented Tenth theory that sought to feather the nests of the black middle class.
13. Too many of us carry around a “handkerchief-head” mentality for no other reason than we have some nonsensical title or a little authority.
14. In my house, people who can only speak of King, Jackson, Sharpton and the NAACP get relegated to the kiddie table. The ADULTS will have a discussions about Hamer, Chestnut, and Hansberry.
15. I am all for helping families feed and house their kids with government assistance when they’re in need, but my interests as a taxpayer come first. Therefore, I will support increasing the budget for such assistance, provided that doing so increases more stringent stipulations for receiving it.
16. I think that child support should be tax-deductible instead of alimony.
17. I wonder what people would feel about race if the so-called one-drop rule would make a person WHITE.
C. Spot Go
on 21 Feb 2010 at 1:20 am #
I strongly agree with you about Michael Baisden. He really is the baddest man on radio. The fact that people actually tune in each day to get their marching orders from him really disturbs me. But I gotta strongly disagree with you about Teena Marie. Her talent is undeniable.
furious_styles on 22 Feb 2010 at 4:57 pm #
Since “He Got Game”, I don’t go see Spike Lee movies just because he put them out anymore.
D_Soft_1
on 23 Feb 2010 at 10:20 am #
Wow, you guys are hilarious, Mr. THERREN DUNHAM, you are an intelligent & informative person… but that’s all I have to say about that.
Now, one of my IBV’s is a person who has not ventured out full-circle (that is gained knowledge) on every aspect of an issue and still proceeds to spew pseudo facts.
If you truly don’t know everything let’s get the facts first and then I am all ears.
IlÃon
on 23 Feb 2010 at 10:36 am #
Oh, indeed. Mr Dunham displays all the characteristics of an intelligent and informative man.
IlÃon’s last blog post..The Rules Are Always Different
THERREN DUNHAM
on 23 Feb 2010 at 3:27 pm #
If that’s your way of saying I talk too much, I guess I stand accused…LOL.
And I think everyone who posts here brings something intelligent and informative to the table. I learn from all of you, and I’m grateful.
That doesn’t mean I have to agree, nor does it mean I find you contemptable if I find fault with what is said.
So, if there are facts I got wrong, please correct me so I won’t continue to walk around ignorant all day, and lying to people as I do. And if there are opinions of mine that you take issue with, by all means, let me know. My word isn’t gospel (and thank God for that!), and I’m not too big to hear someone cry B.S. if I’m out of line.
If anyone is kind enough to do this, that will enlighten my viewpoint by making me acknowledge another perspective.
But this is about the issues of the post, not about what I say about them. So back to the reason why we’re here, shall we?
Cylton Collymore
on 24 Feb 2010 at 5:05 pm #
Jam is crazy. No seriously… she’s crazy. But I understand her perspective on quite a few things…;) my own IBVs are:
1. Black churches are dogmatic and loud and often very silly in their presentations of God. I think God is ashamed of that.
2. Smart black people tend to be as esoteric as possible to prove their intelligence… not unlike the Harvard Cat that Will Hunting breaks down in Good Will Hunting. Obscure or unpopular references dont mean you are smart or even educated.. you just read and like obscure and unpopular shit.
3. I think most black republicans (unless they knew Lincoln) are pawns of color that vote against their own self interest. I think the same about black democrats… Gotcha!
4. I think black fraternities and sororities although currently bloated and misguided, paved the way though blodd sweat tears organization and motivation, for all the currently “educated” anti-fraternity megroes to freely speak today. Carter G. Woodson, MLK, and Thurgood respectfully disgree with you and have more than a shingle, handshake and step to prove that your opinion, although yours, is wrong.:D
5. I think that public assistance should be abolished. It should become a non interest bearing note attached to your social security number payable whenever you work. No tests or stipulations necessary.
6. Sometimes when people wear insignia of belonging its due to pride ( a club, school, organization etc.). Sometimes its because of teh need for recognition of accomplishment. Sometimes its just an insignia. The only way to know their rationale is to ask them. Since we dont all read minds and hearts… i think that thats fair.
7. Black people love righteousness by day (especially Sunday) and debauchery by night. I at least admit to loving debauchery around the clock.
8a. There is no such thing as black and elite. You may be more “elite” than other blacks on a comparative scale because of mainstream approval but you are never considered equal to a white person or reasonably equivalent stature. Ask Barack how great being POTUS is while white people come to see his speeches with guns on their hips.
8b. By the same logic used in 8a you arent more special a person because you have a shingle or two.. even from a prestigious shingle distribution factory (aka university), or hanvet had kids out of wedlock, or pay your bills ontime. You happen to be a normal responsible adult in this society.
10. I admit that I love ignorant black popular culture from “good times” to “for the love of ray j.” Uplifting racial tv is preachy, saccharin and boring. The actors and producers also know its ignorant and fun… only educated black people turn their noses up and decry “buffonery.” If you want “good” black tv, make some non-africa/non-southern cooking/non late night talkshow hosted by a comedian based discovery channel\history channel\science channel documentaries with black investigative journalists.
Thats it I’m spent.
jam donaldson
on 25 Feb 2010 at 2:25 pm #
OK, I admit, I am a little crazy. But usually its like a fox, and if nothing else, I’m always a good time. Keeps life interesting… I’ll take crazy over boring any day. Life is short.
Emmy
on 25 Feb 2010 at 4:46 pm #
1. I find 80’s hiphop completely annoying, and frankly the majority of the people who listen to it only listen to it so they can hold it over the heads of people who listen to other hiphop. #GetLost
2. I don’t hate Lil Wayne. In fact, I think he’s brilliant. But so few actually see him for the brilliant man he is.
3. I don’t think men who wear pink, or skinny jeans, etc…are gay.
4. Teena Marie, similar to what Jam said, is a horrible singer. Her voice sounds like a small kitten being raped by a larger much more aggressive kitten.
5. I think Tyler Perry’s work sucks. My left could write a better, less-stereotypical, screenplay.
6. I like black people as much as the next black person, but as soon as I see a crowded place full of black people I’ll probably avoid it. Just a thing I have, since too many black people in one place is never a good thing. LOL
7. I don’t care whether you wear weave or not. You are not your hair.
8. I think Steve Harvey is a hack. In fact, I could sort of compare him to Tyler Perry. and the basic truth is, Cedric The Entertainer is about 40 times funnier than he is.
9. I don’t like Martin, In Living Color, DL Hughley, The Game, Girlfriends, etc…
10. I will not be peircing my daughter’s ears when she’s a baby.
Demetric
on 26 Feb 2010 at 3:33 am #
I don’t know if I agree with any of your IBV’s but I also don’t think that because you feel this way it in anyway is a violation of your Blackness.
I believe we’re (humanity) are all funny looking (not just our 1st lady) but I think that if the media is going on about her being beautiful it’s a good thing because some people may find her beautiful and it’s great to see that a woman (esp. one of color) who is not “typical” standard of beauty is being acknowledge as being attractive. I think it’s great for others to see that beauty has more than one look (after all it is in the eye of the beholder)
I don’t think that reading a book (single black women) will solve the problems that many singles (men, women, black, etc.) face & help them develop healthy, lasting relationships…it’d be great if it were that simple
I think the Nigerian is off (kinda like saying “all black people are loud, like fried chicken, koolaid, etc.” or “white ppl are crazy” A few bad experiences should not define a group (but I realize that the world we live in operates that way)
Some IBVs:
Even though I have natural hair & I’m chocolate brown…sometimes I wish I was light skinned with “good hair” (I’ve been fighting that battle for years
I have a 3D butt (fairly healthy) & thick thighs n legs (while my friends want my butt & guys like it) it makes me uncomfortable & I’ve often wished for a smaller size because I feel like it draws too much unwanted attention.
Being around lots of black people scares me (mainly because I feel like I’m being judged/measured & I don’t measure up)
I dance like “a white girl” (excuse my non-PCness) so when I’m in predominantly black clubs I hug the wall (always feel like dancing is a video shoot)
I have a love/hate relationship with Tyra (sometimes I hate her approach on her show…but I love the fact that she brings various topics up cause it gives me something to think about & talk about people’s views on events/occurences)
I dislike chitlins’ they smell disgusting.
I’m addicted to reality shows (Ray J, Flava Flav, Let’s Talk About Pep, Run’s House etc.) & kinda ashamed to admit it cause I think most of them are too foolish for words.
Reggie Bush is fine…i don’t care who he dates (wish it was me instead of Kim
I hate when people say “slavery’s been over black folks are just lazy & get over it” True slavery’s been over for a while…how long has it been since Jim Crow/Segregation? How many people actually believe that over 300+ years of enslavement, and substandard treatment did not have multigenerational traumatic effects on all of us.
I believe the “white man” suffered just as much as we did as a result of slavery…although they seemingly came out on top I don’t believe that it was without many detrimental psychological & emotional effects that are manifested in life, relationships, etc. (We’re all pretty screwed up) but it’s too much to deal with so people would just rather sweep it under the table.
It pisses me off when other black people assume because I believe in Jesue that I’ve been brainwashed by “the man” or “whatever” After much prayer & evidence in my own life I’ve come to develop & personal relationship with God through Jesue. I don’t believe that Jesue or the Bible is some made up figure to control my thoughts & actions. I believe that God is in control of all things & HIS word is the final authority ( and not because some pastor told me so) because my personal encounters with HIM have convicted me of THE TRUTH. God & Jesus transcend man’s(humanity’s) understanding/intelligence, time limitations & racial barriers. God does not exist within this timeframe (21st century) & physical, mental limitations which we do. Has nothing to do with race or class, it’s all FAITH.
Tyler Perry has a good concept (positive movies) but it is a bit overkill. Madea was funny @ first and now she’s just too much & his work has become too predictable. He needs to step outside his comfort zone & tap back into his creativity.
I don’t like Lil Wayne’s music. It’s catchy but too many negative themes persist for me to cosign anything he speaks on. I don’t doubt his intelligence though. & if he broke the law he needs to go to jail.
Michael Vick served his time I dont like the fact that he’s now the spokes person for animal safety…unless he’s feeling that…but he went to jail & paid his dues…i don’t think he owes anymore than that
I’m sick of (black & any)people getting reality shows (before/after jail; before/after an album drop) (TI, Vick, Monica, Ray J) even though I secretly watch some of them
I dont wanna be the (black) voice all the time when in places where “we” are under-represented. I hate having to feel like I have to be all “proper & PC” in certain environments cause I don’t want ppl to think “poorly” of all black ppl ( I’m from the DEEP South) so it’s doubly hard…ppl already think we’re “ignorant” b/c we “drawl” & are from places where they glorify plantations & have thick, slow, southern accents…so i have to make sure i’m extremely “proper” when I’m speaking or expressing my opinion
i don’t care who you date or love but i HATE when black ppl deny their blackness (or part of their ancestry [you playing into the we're not good enough]
Jamerican
on 05 Mar 2010 at 3:14 pm #
CONFESSIONS OF A JAMERICAN:
1. I think Mo’Nique has some crazy attachment with being a big girl… she could have been skinny a long time ago
2. Is it just me, or does Barak Obama have smoker’s teeth?
3. Whenever I see a black person with an alternative lifestyle it always throws me for a loop.
4. I actually like wearing my hair naturally… but then when I see myself out and about, I gasp and ask myself what was I thinking.
6. It has been many years since I have used a “fist bump.”
7. Sometimes I wonder “Why in the world are those young black male news anchors on CNN not married? Hmmm…”
8. I secretly think dreadlocks are for people too lazy to comb their hair (not including the true rastafarians)
9. I think it was corny how Soledad O’brien wore her hair back with a headband during her panel discussion on Black in America (was that supposed to be “a black thing”?).
10. I live next to a white man who hangs a confederate flag in his garage… and I don’t care anymore.
11. I am still trying to figure out why so many black folks have tatoos on their body and piercings on their faces….
12. I have never said the “N” word to anyone–family, friend, or foe.
13. Hatians annoy me sometimes
14. I think many African Americans are afraid of being skinny.
15. I have to get used to seeing people with much darker skin than mine.
dekorasyon
on 06 Mar 2010 at 3:09 pm #
blacks isnt bad :((((((
dekorasyon’s last blog post..Kahve Fincanı modelleri
oji
on 08 Mar 2010 at 11:08 pm #
Very interesting, funny and crazy thoughts here. As I read some of the comments an old saying comes to my mind which says, “Better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” I too had negative feelings about Nigerians but I ended up marrying one. This was after I had several negative experiences with jive talking, controlling/abusive, lazy unmotivated black men. This is not to say that ALL black men fit the description of the losers I dealt with. I know there are some worthy black men, my man just happens to be a worth Nigerian man!!!
Rachel
on 14 Mar 2010 at 4:19 am #
I have so many IBV’s that I can’t name them all.
Black people should stop using the N word
I think Beyonce is overrated
I think Kwanzaa is dumb
I liked the Lord of the Rings Trilogy
I think most rap and hip hop music is garbage
I do not think Obama is the answer to all of our problems
Black people have taken the “fat and beautiful” trend way to far
I think that inner city schools need the national guard called in at times, not more money
I also agree with you about the “nappy roots” I hate it when my hair looks that way.
Irvingfox
on 17 Mar 2010 at 4:40 pm #
I agree with everything except what you think of First Lady Obama’s looks. I think Tyra Banks is phony, extremely silly and funny looking (she looks like a large fore headed, knock kneed martian). I like this blog but everyone should be aware that not only black people leave negative comments on these blogs. I would bet most of the negative feedback on “black” websites are from white and other races of people. You know they always want to know what we’re up to; so at the least they can copy us.
Anonymous on 17 Mar 2010 at 6:48 pm #
“I would bet most of the negative feedback on “black” websites are from white and other races of people. You know they always want to know what we’re up to; so at the least they can copy us.”
Dewd! Dream on.
Angel
on 19 Mar 2010 at 9:31 pm #
I’ve died 10x’s reading through these and I agree with a lot of them. I just think Michelle looks … angry. But … I’m secretly glad he’s not married to a white girl (sorry) but.. I dunno, I’m mixed … so… I have a whole lot of cross over IBV’s, IWV’s and IPRV’s …among others….
Angel’s last blog post..Rebirth …. Revamped….and Ready to Rant
itsmeagain
on 23 Mar 2010 at 5:22 pm #
1.) I hate how I’m expected to look at, acknowledge, speak to another black person if I happen to be in a store, classroom, or walking down the street past/with them. I don’t dislike you and I’m not angry. I just don’t want to talk to anybody. That includes you.
2.) I love my natural hair, but I too am sometimes taken aback at how it looks when I catch my reflection in a window or pass a mirror. I also admit that I would prefer it if my hair grew down, and not out.
3.) I really can’t stand Gospel music at all. Very few SLOW songs are OK, but that hollering stuff makes me agitated.
4.) I don’t go to church because I don’t want to. I don’t particularly like the way MOST black churches are run and the atmosphere of them. I go to a Catholic University and I admit to attending (and REALLY) enjoying Mass.
5.) I would love it if I could be skinny. Not regular, not slim - skinny.
6.) I don’t like Rap. At all.
7.) I suck at dancing and I don’t care.
8.) I feel like a lot (most) of the other black students I come into contact with on my campus are affirmative action cases. It amazes me how they got into this school with the limited vocabulary and less than satisfactory work they produce. That really embarrasses me.
8.) I thank God (and myself) everyday for not being the stereotypical black woman: fat, loud, weave wearing,attitude having, man hating, child toting,ghetto living and name having.
9.) I’m proud as HELL to come from a two parent house hold. I respect my parents very much (even though I may not always show it to them. For that I’m also embarrassed).
10.) I love wearing skirts and dresses, even though I have extensive Eczema scarring.
11.) I’m very uncomfortable around black children. Mostly from my own experiences. They are usually very disrespectful, loud and trouble making. I’m always doubly happy when I find one who isn’t.
12.) I really wish I had naturally jet black hair. Dark brown is boring to me, but I don’t want to dye my hair and dry it out.
13.) I am not a fan of family reunions. I see the family members I actually care about enough.
14.) I hate how loud the black women who attend school/live with me are. That REALLY pisses me off.
15.) The direction my brother has taken with his live makes me angry that he ruined our facade of the perfect, middle class, black family. I rarely speak to him.
16.) I don’t think my smile is very pretty because of my teeth. I really can’t wait to get braces and I don’t feel a bit bad about being an adult with braces.
17.) I am growing to love more Alternative music.
18.) The size of my breasts make me uncomfortable.
19.) I, too, agree with the sentiment that Kwanzaa is a load of bollocks.
20.) I’ve have never, and probably never will enjoy BBQ, and (most) Soul Food. It’s disgusting.
carefreemistress
on 28 Mar 2010 at 3:04 pm #
My IBV is that I loathe Oprah.
facade
on 07 Apr 2010 at 2:54 am #
You have an opinion. I respectfully disagree. Get over it. facade
Ilíon
on 07 Apr 2010 at 6:59 am #
Yeah! ‘Cuz respect is always communicated by “get over it”
Ilíon’s last blog post..Basil’s Car … and Justice
THERREN DUNHAM
on 07 Apr 2010 at 11:02 am #
No, because there’s too much vitriol in these posts to have a conniption over respectful dissent.
Ilíon
on 07 Apr 2010 at 11:22 am #
The vitriol was yours, and “get over it” is the emitome of disrespect.
Ilíon’s last blog post..Basil’s Car … and Justice
Ilíon
on 07 Apr 2010 at 11:23 am #
epitome
Ilíon’s last blog post..Basil’s Car … and Justice
THERREN DUNHAM
on 07 Apr 2010 at 1:25 pm #
If you were referring to Facade’s post, I didn’t write it (I don’t use aliases: I dont have to hide my identity to speak my truth). If you are referring to my other posts on this thread, then yes, I am indeed guilty of throwing out some of the same viciousness that I sometimes railed against.
Guilty as charged, your honor. But if I may be allowed to qualify my actions, I’d like to point out that such invective was employed as a means to make clear that there is a fine line between disagreeing with someone and doing so in a condescending, arrogant tone. One is free to argue the merits of, or whether it was my place to do, that in an otherwise civil discussion. But I feel that at those times, and given those circumstances, they were warranted. Unnecessary, yes, but no more than the actions of those whose taunts gave me the impetus to do so.
That said, you don’t apologize for offending someone; you apologize for being offensive. To you, Ilion, I have been that and done both. For that, I offer you a sincere apology.
Ilíon
on 07 Apr 2010 at 1:49 pm #
Of course I was referring to Facade’s post in both the two last posts I made; the first directly, the second indirectly.
I never imagined that Facade is a sockpuppet.
Yes, you were, which is why I did my best to ignore you. But, I’m quite willing to let bygones be bygones.
Ilíon’s last blog post..Basil’s Car … and Justice
THERREN DUNHAM
on 07 Apr 2010 at 3:10 pm #
Nah,we’re not bitter people, are we?;-)
Ilíon
on 07 Apr 2010 at 4:54 pm #
I’m not; are you?
Ilíon’s last blog post..Basil’s Car … and Justice
THERREN DUNHAM
on 08 Apr 2010 at 2:19 pm #
(Sigh). Whatever, bro.
ProudGeek
on 10 Apr 2010 at 4:50 am #
As a white-collar, hardworking Nigerian who NEVER stole from ANYONE in my entire life… just like MILLIONS of other hardworking, honest Nigerians out there, I just want to say:
“ALL African American Women are racist, egotistical, promiscuous, baby-making, welfare-leaching, no-good hood rats”.
How does that statement make you feel? Does that statement carry any truth?
You know what? It doesn’t matter. This is why I generally don’t associate with African American people. I hope you get molested AGAIN, then raped, by one of your uncles.
Go to Hell and Burn.
ProudGeek
on 10 Apr 2010 at 5:00 am #
I just read a bunch more of the postings on this blog. Now I know why the negro race is slowly but surely self-destructing. We have basically NO unity, but a whole lot of self-hatred!
I mean, JESUS H. CHRIST.
On a STICK.
This site made me curse more colorfully than a homosexual Joseph - son of Jacob - in a Technicolor dreamcoat. I am never coming back here. I am too ashamed when I realize that the owner of this blog POSSIBLY descended from my fellow West Africans. I shiver at the thought. You people TRULY were made different by slavery… mutated into basically a completely different race!
(And, before you even say anything, yes I WILL “go back to Africa”, very soon, after making a little more money to invest and retire on, thank you).
So good luck, good night, goodbye, and good riddance!
Ilíon
on 10 Apr 2010 at 9:05 am #
What odd things to say, ProudGeek … I mean, all in all.
“Now I know why the negro race is slowly but surely self-destructing. We have basically NO unity, but a whole lot of self-hatred!”
“Unity” … isn’t that frequently (and certainly in this context) just another word for “group think” or even “tribalism?” How’s that tribalism working out for ya’ over there in Nigeria, and the rest of West Africa, and in the entirety of Africa?
It seems to me (keep in mind that I’m not black) that black Americans have suffered enough “unity” in the past two generations to keep any people for going for many generations. If some black Americans are beginning to see through “unity,” and even if they sometimes come to different conclusions than I do, I cannot but see that as a good thing.
Black Americans are blessed by God … for they *are* Americans. Sure, their ancestors got the short end of the stick … starting with being enslaved by their fellow West Africans, who marched them to the African coast and sold them whites huddling in their ships. But that was then, and this is now.
In the name of *my* ancestry, should I hate you all, black, white and yellow? For, after all, as far as I’m concerned, you’re *all* “Old Worlders.” Should I ignore that I wouldn’t even exist had not “Old Worlders” come to this New World? Should I ignore that I *am* an American, and that irrespective of the late unpleasantness, my life is better, because I am an American, then it ever coul have been without the existence of America? I mean, even aside from the fact that I’d not exist if America didn’t?
What’s that saying? Hell, no!
Ilíon’s last blog post..Draft the Obamas!
THERREN DUNHAM
on 10 Apr 2010 at 9:38 am #
To ProudGeek:
Wow, how mature.
While I can definitely feel you on your outrage, I won’t tolerate youre wholesale disregard for a whole swath of people. If you choose not to associate with a set group of people, that is your choice. But it is the height of duplicity to lament in one breath about the lack of unity within one race, and in the the other you wish upon them a rehash of all the harm they’ve endured through generations.
Disingenious, no?
Now, I’d be the first one to say that Pan-Africanism is a myth (and your post is evidence to that), but I do feel that there is enough of a shared history and experience to justify a mutual affinity of one another. I personally have known few indigenous Africans, but I still have the good sense to know that not all of them are scam artists and child soldiers and poor, and I act like it. I don’t take people for anything other than how they treat me. I know many card-carrying racists (even one chick with roots in the Klan) that I would do anything for, and some blacks that I wouldn’t spit on if they were on fire. It’s not their etnicity or world view; it’s their respect for me and mine for them that makes the difference. I would ask that you look at things that way.
You can’t go around carrying yourself like that, bro. Whatever you see in our communities you don’t like, your people may have had a hand in. And your ability to go back to your native land with a wad of cash to live comfortably and, I assume, help your locale, was paved to a large degree with the sweat and tears of the very people your ancestors drove away in chains.
Should you be offended? Certainly. Ungrateful? No.
THERREN DUNHAM
on 10 Apr 2010 at 10:21 am #
Illion,
For the most part, I actually agree with you. Now to betray a government secret: black people have NEVER been monolithic in thought. Show me one aspect of our culture and history that implied group-think, and I’ll give you an aspect that counterbalanced it.
There is no such thing as African American group-think.
I don’t believe that African American unity (or a lack thereof) is a singular cause of whatever we see as problems in our community. I think those issues are a function of our universal struggle to define what constitutes self-determination, and balance that with a world view that encompasses every facet of the black experience. That’s no easy bake. DuBois and Washington struggled with it. The SCLC and SNCC struggled with it. Women like Wells-Barnett, Hamer and Chisholm struggled with the male-dominated establishment within those groups. Old struggles with young, rich struggles with poor, as with dark with light, and north with south. Where’s the group thinking in that?
Now before one speaks of Balkanization (which in itself is an historically and intellectually dishonest connotation), let me state that while the viewpoints differ, what is clear is that they all sought one goal (I’ll err in assuming we all agree on what that is), and that by utilizing various means the end result would be the same. People weren’t forced into cooperation by an outside force; it was a mutual understanding WITHIN that we ALL had to get across that bridge, not just some of us. That shouldn’t imply that we agreed on everything, or really much of anything, but we all knew what was at stake.
And how’s that tribalism working in Appalachia? Or in the various Chinatowns? Bensonhurst? Michigan’s upper penninsula? Various pockets of the rust belt? It’s kinda hard to justify pointing out separatism in one community when there are hundreds of examples elsewhere. Some are flourishing, others are in steep decline, but in an increasingly multiracial, multi-ethnic America, those areas are becoming more and more isolated every day. I would kindly suggest that you examine those communities first, since I suspect that they’ll have the greatest need.
Ilíon
on 10 Apr 2010 at 11:17 am #
“Now to betray a government secret: black people have NEVER been monolithic in thought.”
I know that — I’m conservative, after all. Most of the people I knew as a child were black, and for a time my family attended a “black” storefront church; unlike the “liberals,” I know that black people are *real* people.
Ilíon’s last blog post..Draft the Obamas!
Ilíon
on 10 Apr 2010 at 11:29 am #
“… that I wouldn’t spit on if they were on fire.”
Have you heard this one? “I wouldn’t piss down So-and-So’s throat if his belly was on fire”?
Ilíon’s last blog post..Draft the Obamas!
Ilíon
on 10 Apr 2010 at 11:30 am #
“For the most part, I actually agree with you.”
I should hope so! After all, I’m always right!
Ilíon’s last blog post..Draft the Obamas!
ProudGeek
on 10 Apr 2010 at 12:55 pm #
@Ilíon
I think you need to make your comments in CONTEXT. And maybe add some BALANCE.
Therefore, please post SOMETHING about the original author’s deeply hurtful and offensive comment about Nigerian people (MY people). I’d like to know what you think about HER obviously racist posting.
Ilíon
on 10 Apr 2010 at 1:08 pm #
Obviously, I speak only for myself, but I don’t give a damn about your feelings.
Ilíon’s last blog post..Draft the Obamas!
ProudGeek
on 10 Apr 2010 at 4:14 pm #
@llion
Of course not. Hence you will need to shut the fuck up next time, you rude, worthless single-celled organism.
Ilíon
on 10 Apr 2010 at 4:40 pm #
Nor do I give a damn about that … other than, possibly, to mock it.
ps. I don’t for a moment believe that this entity is a Nigerian; its colloquial English is too like that of a born-and-bred American.
Ilíon’s last blog post..Draft the Obamas!
ProudGeek
on 11 Apr 2010 at 1:21 am #
@llion
What an ignorant git. So because I don’t use F-words and N-words, I know how to spell, I actually paid attention in school, and I’ve never cheated anyone out of anything… I’m automatically “disqualified” from being Nigerian?
You’re an ass.
There, does that make you feel more comfortable? Generic, overused, meaningless insults are more in line with your expectations of how an African should express him or herself? Does that make you feel better? Hmm? Does it?
Jeeze, I can’t even get offended anymore, I just pity you and your close-minded brethren.
Oh by the way, you know what’s a genderless, dehumanized “entity”?
Your mom.
Ilíon
on 11 Apr 2010 at 3:00 am #
“What an ignorant git.”
And yet, I can comprehend written English.
And, I’m an American … whereas you claim to be a mere foreigner.
Ilíon’s last blog post..Draft the Obamas!
Nikki on 11 Apr 2010 at 1:45 pm #
I have a IBV. Here goes the next time a young female walks up to me and says “You know what I’ saying” No I don’t know if I did I would not need to ask you. And Please Please don’t SPIT. Its a nasty filthy habit and very unlady like. If you must remove something from your mouth use a kleenex or excuse your self from from public view and go for it.
Aimie
on 11 Apr 2010 at 6:15 pm #
Honest doesnt always mean right, atleast its the first step to overcoming your mental issues.
When i see any Black Americn female, all i think is ‘Ghetto’ and ‘Hood bitch’ i dont care how many degrees or what Ivy league school they went to,i walk away, thats my honesty right there.
Aimie
on 11 Apr 2010 at 6:22 pm #
African American people have so many issues! damn! They need pills
JR
on 12 Apr 2010 at 9:47 pm #
Retort to #1,uh, have you seen YOURSELF, jam donaldson???? You should be the last one commenting on how funny anyone looks.
jam donaldson
on 12 Apr 2010 at 10:03 pm #
exactly. it takes one to know one.
Ilíon
on 13 Apr 2010 at 12:20 am #
Since when are only the “beautiful people,” whoever that are, allowed to notice that someone else looks funny?
Ilíon’s last blog post..Draft the Obamas!
THERREN DUNHAM
on 13 Apr 2010 at 10:54 am #
OK, we get it. Michelle Obama looks funny. Jam Donaldson looks funny. The last seven people posting about other people’s looks, look funny. And Therren Dunham looks like a fucking fraggle. There. Everyone happy now?
Sheesh; I find it so amazing that people get fixated on ONE facet of one woman’s self-reflection of some of the personal taboos we all have. Think about yours. You don’t think that everyone else might call you out to some degree? You dont think that others would see at least some truth to what’s been put out? I mean really, people. It’s not that crucial.
It’s okay to have some unsavory thoughts about ourselves; it’s natural and often healthy. It’s okay to feel offended at what others think. It’s even cool to have an opinion (hopefully informed) on the subject when you are not the subject-matter expert. But damn, do we have to carry our demographically-tinged psychological baggage on our sleeves, and every fucking where we go?
This is a conversation, a dialogue. You people act like we’re hammering out social policy or confirming Supreme Court nominees. It’s just people being real. Some of us, anyway. Most of you would get mad that some obscure, nonsensical TV show (think “Babay, I’m Back!”) never made
never made the Southern Heritage Newsletter’s 50 most significant shows of all time, when the important thing is that said program made YOURS. (FYI: I added another IBV in this paragraph–you’ll have to read between the lines to catch it–but it’s redundant and nothing that a little googling wouldn’t make clear.)
There are so many other threads on this site that are rich in content and ripe for conversation, but many of you would rather fight on this one thread to the death. You care more about promoting your ideologies (or what your grammamma learnt you) than actually participating in a forum. Some of the biggest “contributors” on this thread I never see anywhere else on this site.
That’s not an IBV, that’s just making note of some bullshit that pisses me off. But anyway, I gotta put in my two cents about a certain group of, ahem, patriots who equate Ethan Allen with high-end furniture (bought by liberals, no doubt). Later.
THERREN DUNHAM
on 13 Apr 2010 at 10:58 am #
Oooh, did I write Babay? LMFAO. I guess Tea Partiers aren’t the only ones who can’t spell.
No, damn that. I just screwed up. LOL.
THERREN DUNHAM
on 13 Apr 2010 at 11:00 am #
And I can’t proofread when pissed, either. Nail my ass to the cross now.
jam donaldson
on 13 Apr 2010 at 6:43 pm #
as Oprah once said, “i learned long go that i wasn’t beautiful, so I decided to be smart instead.”
THERREN DUNHAM
on 14 Apr 2010 at 8:18 am #
Nah, I think you’re kinda cute. But that fraggle-looking Therren Dunham kid, ugh. If looks equated to humor, he’d be a poor man’s Bugs Bunny! LMAO
kimberly
on 22 Apr 2010 at 12:02 pm #
I know I’m late, just found this surfing the web. But, I think I love you, I agree with you on so many points.
Rachee
on 24 Apr 2010 at 1:30 pm #
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
This was so funny but true.
Hmmm…what does my inner black girl voice say:
I think women should shave their legs.
I laugh at racial humor.
I hate it when young Black kids sit behind me in the theater.
Avenue has a song about it: Everyone’s a little bit racist…It’s true!
MB
on 25 Apr 2010 at 5:42 pm #
Here are my IBV’s:
1.I hate the show “Meet the Browns”. I think it is embarrassing and I refuse to watch.
2.I think Spike Lee is a better writer than Tyler Perry. At least Spike has a message in his movies.
3.I hate “Madea” and wish Tyler Perry would kill her character. I like his other movies where she is NOT featured.
4.It irritates me when child support is not used for….the CHILD!
5.I hate when I go to a black owned restaurants/stores and the service and attitude is so bad that they act like they are doing me a favor for visiting their place of business. I will just spend my money at the white restaurants where I know it will be appreciated.
6.I hate when people think that just because a person speaks their mind that it must mean that they have an attitude.
7.I hate when preachers start talking about the kind of cars they drive! Who cares?!!
8.Parents who don’t enforce school rules such as appropriate clothing, no braids or dreads while playing basketball are teaching their kids that they don’t have to follow rules.
9.Al Sharpton and Michael Eric Dyson are annoying and Al needs a haircut.
10.I hate the hip-hop of today. In fact, hell it shouldn’t even be called hip-hop! (But I admit I can still get down with JayZ…LOL!!)
11.Black women need to stop getting mad at black men dating white women. Reggie Bush for example; I don’t want him so I don’t care.
12.Teen/women pregnancy when in this day and age there is every type of birth control available under the sun. No more excuses!
13.Monique is loud and obnoxious and I refuse to watch.
14.I hate the phrase “Everything is everything”. WTF does that really mean?
15.I hate the phrase “Keeping it Real”…again…WTF does that really mean?
16.It’s embarrassing when Black people don’t dress appropriately in the workplace.
17.When I call a place of business and get a black person in customer service I hang up if they sound black and are annoyed because they had to answer the phone even though it’s their job!
18.People who say they don’t like something and haven’t tried it. How do you know until you have tried it?
19.I can’t stand shows like Flavor Flav (When it was on), Bad Girls and most reality TV shows.
20.I’m still trying to understand why people think Kimora Lee Simmons is so fabulous. (And yes I watch her show…LOL!!)
21.It irritates me when kids don’t know about other countries and cultures and parents don’t even take them on a simple road trip where they might learn something.
22.I hate when an opinion is voiced the first thing people do is call you a hater when in fact you are just merely making a valid point.
23.I am not a TD Jakes fan and I think his books are written more for women because women will purchase them.
24.Baby Mama’s irritate me!!! Period!
25.People who think it’s cute for kids to dance in home videos and speak disrespectfully to adults. Example: The Doritos commercial. That little boy should have been smacked back.
26.I don’t go see any black movies the first weekend they come out because of the crowds. I thought I could avoid the “loud crowd” by waiting three weeks to see “Why Did I get Married Too” and going to a theatre in a white neighborhood but I still had three loud black women sitting behind me talking to the movie screen as if it was going to talk back too them. Ridiculous!!
27.I have a problem with the “It takes a Village” phrase when in fact the village didn’t have the kid. Get real!!!
28.I have a problem with women who have babies just to keep a man when in fact women are the ones doing all the work through 9 months of pregnancy, labor, birth and then life. Get real!!
29.I hate the phrase Baby Mamma and Baby Daddy and I thank God that I am not somebody’s baby mamma.
As for Jam’s IBV’s, I agree with #2, 3, 4, 7, 8, 12, 13, 15 and 16. But I do like Teena Marie and I saw her in concert. I am so glad that there is finally a place where I can voice IBV’s! Thank you!
3D
on 26 Apr 2010 at 1:24 pm #
David Brooks?
Seriously?
Phyllis
on 07 May 2010 at 5:15 pm #
I hate Jemele Hill because she admits to having “hanky-head” ways.
Anonymous
on 18 May 2010 at 1:01 am #
A few:
I never had sex and I don’t like it, it looks nasty and uncomfortable
I try to avoid people from African countries because I think they want to rip me off.
I believe that Chinese people spit in chinese-food before they serve you.
White people are all racists, (this may be untrue)
I love to see interracial couples relationship, but I am afraid to be in one.
Tyra Banks does not sleep. And Oprah snores.
I am quite the comedian.
3D
on 18 May 2010 at 4:40 am #
I believe that Chinese people spit in chinese-food before they serve you.
I just found out that my favorite Chinese restaurant had 23 health violations. I’m very bummed out about it.
Ilíon
on 18 May 2010 at 5:42 am #
Years and years ago, at what was my favorite Chinese restaurant (it closed many years ago), I *thought* I saw the husband spit into the food he was preparing. The wife had opened the frosted-glass divider to send an order back to him, and he was standing right there … and for an instant, from the corner of my eye, I *thought* I saw a big mass of something falling from his mouth. But, of course, I could never be sure.
At the same time … between the help and the customers, all restaurants are really very unclean places.
Ilíon’s last blog post..Auster on Brewer
Ilíon
on 18 May 2010 at 5:47 am #
“White people are all racists, (this may be untrue)”
1) that is not an “IBV” — that false belief is *standard* amongst blacks.
2) I got sad news for ya’ — most whites go days or even weeks without thinking about blacks, one way or another.
3) whites are, in general, the *least* racist of all the peoples on the earth, and American whites are the least racist of all whites.
3a) however, “liberal” and “progressive” whites are very racist
Ilíon’s last blog post..Auster on Brewer
Anonymous
on 18 May 2010 at 1:11 pm #
@Llion: Some people talk to you like normal, but when you turn your back, they are ready to stab you, trust me I know.
2) I don’t expect WP to think about AA “everyday”, however I believe RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE REGARDLESS OF THEIR RACE is what I am implying.
3) Where else in the world have people of other races been eradicated, lynched, and imprisoned for something they could not change. FYI, Being Black.
4) Oh well
3D
on 18 May 2010 at 2:15 pm #
1) that is not an “IBV” — that false belief is *standard* amongst blacks.
2) I got sad news for ya’ — most whites go days or even weeks without thinking about blacks, one way or another.
3) whites are, in general, the *least* racist of all the peoples on the earth, and American whites are the least racist of all whites.
3a) however, “liberal” and “progressive” whites are very racist
I think you should distinguish between “racist” and “prejudiced”. Prejudice is a default human position that we’re born with, it’s a survival skill that comes in handy in certain aspects of life and it’s something we have to be taught to use only when appropriate as we gain life experience. Little white/black kids will point out a black/white person as ‘different’ when they first see one in their lives, and we would all agree nothing is wrong with that. When black people have misconceptions about white people because of limited contact with them, or vice versa, because of segregation by geographical accident, I consider that ‘prejudice’, but I don’t see any real inherent evil in it.
I tend to save the word ‘racist’ for people who want to see another race swinging from a rope.
Anyway, long way around to my point — I think you’re committing a Do The Right Thing-style fallacy a la Spike Lee here, as have others in this thread. Ex., “It is wrong to pass judgment on an entire group of people or race, the way all white people do all the time.”
3D
on 18 May 2010 at 2:28 pm #
2) I don’t expect WP to think about AA “everyday”, however I believe RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE REGARDLESS OF THEIR RACE is what I am implying.
This is not even an issue in places where people live on top of each other like sardines, which is why serious race hate crimes are lower (not nonexistent though) in areas where people have to live with each other on the same block. If you see someone from another race sitting on the train across from you pulling wedgies out of her ass or blowing his nose or sharing other common human traits, you’re less likely to believe that they’re a demonic enemy to be eliminated from the earth.
3) Where else in the world have people of other races been eradicated, lynched, and imprisoned for something they could not change. FYI, Being Black.
That’s true, but white people also systematically ended the slavery they started in the US, even though they had to be dragged kicking and screaming into it under penalty of law by other smarter white people. So I give them some positive points on the scorecard.
Although I do agree with you, the statement that white people are the least racist people on the planet is absurd. And I hope we don’t go too far in the other direction and start accepting crazy ideas, like David Brooks makes a lot of sense. (gag)
I do think, though, that in liberal and progressive areas, white people are ultra-aware of not offending black people and minorities (a development that is generally positive) so much so that the levels to which they will go to try not to offend you is embarrassing and offensive.
And I also think that there is another urban phenomenon of black kids who have grown up in the past 20 years in liberal areas who are so innoculated against any white people doing anything that even appears racist, that they feel almost 100% immunity to not have to reciprocate the courtesy, and are blatantly prejudiced toward white people.
isti
on 19 May 2010 at 5:42 am #
Although I am brown-skinned, I’m happy and confident.
isti’s last blog post..Big Nose and Mouth Good For Health
Ilíon
on 19 May 2010 at 6:38 am #
Ilíon: “… 3a) however, “liberal” and “progressive” whites are very racist”
3D: “I think you should distinguish between “racist” and “prejudiced”.”
It was not I who said (as an incorrect example of an “IBV”) that “White people are all racists, (this may be untrue)”
In truth, the *real* “IBV” would be: “Not all white people are out to get me … ergo, my success, or failure, is in my own hands!”
Ilíon’s last blog post..You will not believe this!
Ilíon
on 19 May 2010 at 6:52 am #
Anonymous: “@ILÍON: Some people talk to you like normal, but when you turn your back, they are ready to stab you, trust me I know.”
Oh, I know! … it’s kind of like when an old black man or woman who acts all “Yes’m, Boss” to my face (which behavior, all by itself, I take as an insult), and as soon as I’m out of earshot is all “I wish ‘at cracker *wo-uld* say sumpin’, I’ kick hi’ ass!”
But if people display this two-facedness behind one’s back, it’s rather difficult for one to know about it, isn’t it? So, is it not just as wrong for you to *assume* that a white really despises you, contrary to how he behaves, as it would be for me to assume that a black despises me if there is no evidence of it?
Ilíon: “2) I got sad news for ya’ — most whites go days or even weeks without thinking about blacks, one way or another.”
Anonymous: “2) I don’t expect WP to think about AA “everyday”, however I believe RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE REGARDLESS OF THEIR RACE is what I am implying.”
So, is this “respect” a one-way street? ‘Cause I gotta tell ya, I’m not seeing the respect coming my way.
Ilíon: “3) whites are, in general, the *least* racist of all the peoples on the earth, and American whites are the least racist of all whites.”
Anonymous: “3) Where else in the world have people of other races been eradicated, lynched, and imprisoned for something they could not change. FYI, Being Black.”
See! You *are* a standard-issue modern American … wholly self-centered and ignorant about the goings-on of the world, both historical and contemporary … and quite satisfied in that ignorance.
Anonymous: “White people are all racists, (this may be untrue)”
Ilíon: “3a) however, “liberal” and “progressive” whites are very racist”
Anonymous: “4) Oh well”
So, you want to make a blanket statement about all whites, which happens to be false … and you’re indifferent to the truth of the matter?
Ilíon’s last blog post..You will not believe this!
Jhon
on 23 May 2010 at 11:25 pm #
You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this topic to be really something which I think I would never understand. It seems too complicated and very broad for me. I am looking forward for your next post, I will try to get the hang of it!
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Eczema Symptoms
on 30 May 2010 at 7:24 pm #
The information you are posting here is priceless. Thanks a ton!
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natural eczema treatment
on 03 Jun 2010 at 3:06 am #
Why can’t Iphone open this website?
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Julie Davis
on 06 Jun 2010 at 1:50 pm #
There are plenty of single moms out there who do not get the help they need (don’t have a mother or sister or even a friend who can help out).
Ilíon
on 06 Jun 2010 at 1:53 pm #
The help a mother needs is technically called “husband.”
Ilíon’s last blog post..TimeMoney Is MoneyTime
THERREN DUNHAM
on 09 Jun 2010 at 11:00 pm #
I will not, as a principle, dismiss the importance of fathers/husbands in families, but I think that placing the problems of the world soley on absentee fathers and such is short-sighted. My grandmother didn’t have a man in her home but yet raised 9 upstanding men (and woman)who became outstanding parents, career people, and citizens. I grew up from a divorced home and to this day couldn’t tell you what crack looks like. And I knew of too many people who had two-parent homes who weren’t worth a shit. Or does one need to watch “Intervention” on A&E to witness?
I think that fathers in the home are important and necessary. But I submit that more than that, a child needs a support system that fosters emotional, financial, and spiritual growth. A lack of those things is what hastens the decline of the AMERICAN family. I cahllenge you to show otherwise.
THERREN DUNHAM
on 09 Jun 2010 at 11:13 pm #
sorry, challenge.
Ilíon
on 10 Jun 2010 at 12:00 am #
Who said I was blaming men?
Ilíon’s last blog post..TimeMoney Is MoneyTime
THERREN DUNHAM
on 10 Jun 2010 at 7:15 pm #
No one said men were to blame. no one even mentioned a single name.
If anything, the point was that having people in your corner that had your back is perhaps more important than who shares a roof with you.
Ilíon
on 11 Jun 2010 at 1:41 am #
The point is: keep your legs shut (or keep it in your pants, as the case may be) until you’ve married a preson worth spending the rest of your life with. This, of course, more than implies ensuring that one’s own self is also sich a person.
And, onr important part of doiong that is to honor one’s future unknown spouse by being faithful even in this unknown state.
Ilíon’s last blog post..TimeMoney Is MoneyTime
Ilíon
on 11 Jun 2010 at 1:44 am #
The problem now, as it has always been all through history, is that human being *want* to lie to themselves about the nature of reality; they *want* to do what they know will bring evil consequences … and then they want to whine about the consequence and blame others.
Ilíon’s last blog post..TimeMoney Is MoneyTime
THERREN DUNHAM
on 11 Jun 2010 at 6:50 pm #
Absolutism in morality is sin, because having such is veiled contempt.
We can wax philosophical all day about the decisions people make that lead to unfortunate circumstances, and I’ll concede that it’s fair game. But I am not going to write off scores of people in the aftermath. Especially when countless people in life are functional, well-adjusted people in spite of having a broken home, yet many more who came up in two parent households (the kids on Diff’rent Strokes, for a few!) couldn’t get their lives together for shit. It’s not where you’re from, or even where you’re at. It’s who got you there, who rode shotgun with you along the way.
Abstinence and fidelity are no more a guarantee of success in life than any other variable we extoll. Does it help the odds? Of course. Are they a slam dunk? Hell no.
You wanna know what makes Sesame Street work? They teach community, they teach social skills and the value of building positive social networks (as well as basic elementary learning). The show in itself was one big support group; they ENCOURAGED you to learn and prosper. There weren’t any preaching about fathers being there, or that your family structure equaled your social respect. Think about it. Something so simple and yet way too sophisticated for we adults to understand.
I love my parents, but they divorced when I was young. Their failings are their own, not mine. I was blessed with good people, but they weren’t always there. Yet I was equally blessed to be around like-minded people who wanted things out of life, that I learned from and grew with. I had people in my life who cared about me. I wouldn’t have made it without them, and to say that my parents were the deciding factor in my childhood insults those people greatly.
I’m here to say definitively: The villiage works.
Ilíon
on 12 Jun 2010 at 11:12 pm #
“Absolutism in morality is sin, because having such is veiled contempt.”
You speak as though you are a God-damned fool!
Ilíon’s last blog post..TimeMoney Is MoneyTime
Ilíon
on 12 Jun 2010 at 11:12 pm #
… and I don’t waste my time with fools.
Ilíon’s last blog post..TimeMoney Is MoneyTime
THERREN DUNHAM
on 14 Jun 2010 at 5:42 pm #
Then why the hell did you respond?
And who are you to determine what is right and moral for scores of people that (news flash, dipshit!) you don’t know? What you profess to be morally correct is, in actuality, only what works for you. That’s it.
I guess you choose to attack people who disagree with you from the safety of your computer screen (how’s that Five Alive, by the way? Need some more ice with that?) because you don’t dare face yourself. And you don’t waste time with fools, indeed! Well, most of us hate to waste time dealing with weak-ass, immature little fucks like you, who throw rocks at people from the top of the hill. But as much as we’d rather run up that hill and give you the spanking you deserve (and you’re more than welcome to roll up to Ft Rucker, Al to get it!), most of us will deal with you insolent children, because if not, we’d be derelict in our duty to see that your like don’t (d)evolve into adults of the same breed.
Unfortunately, somebody failed you.
Now, stop wasting your time and shut the fuck up talking to me.
Natalie
on 14 Jul 2010 at 10:41 am #
Just found this post. I agree and disagree with a lot that was said. My IBV’s; 1) Baby mamas- get over it, you don’t own him, you are an embarrassement to us all, and if you had any pride and self-worth you would move on, 2) Baby daddies- put a condom, you are an embarrassment to us all, and if you had any pride and self-worth you wouldn’t want to be known for having babies all over creation, 3) Black women who come to the aid/defense of black men who don’t give a rat’s ass about them, i.e., OJ in the 90’s, Kobe, etc., 4) Black men that don’t give a rat’s ass about black women, but expect their loyalty when shit hits the fan, and the White man is trying to get them. Please !
jc
on 28 Jul 2010 at 9:32 am #
we were separated at birth.
jc’s last blog post..when i grow up…
Candice
on 10 Aug 2010 at 10:03 pm #
I have a few IBV’s of my own.
1. I know this sounds horrible, but I think I look the best when my hair is relaxed.
2. I love listening to music other than hip hop. Even though I still like hip hop.
3. I’m into white guys.
P.S. @ anonymous… how do u know that you won’t like sex ? It always feels uncomfortable at first.
Anonymous
on 11 Aug 2010 at 12:10 am #
Internal Blackness Violations Gear Grindings, because I need to sleep and I can’t, so….
1. Hey Candice, I am in my 30’s and still a virgin, ironically, a former lesbian told me, that her mother told her that sex is very painful, hence she is an only child. I guess I prefer to keep my legs crossed a little longer.
2. I wish I had a gun to shoot that bastard to beat me mercilessly and sent me to the hospital in extreme pain, and his mother who lied and poo-poo the police, I really hate you.
3. I love to comb my hair and I cant keep in braids for more than two weeks.
4. My sis got married to a Jamaican, and 3 days later he beat her and told her to “sleep on it”. Jamaican men suck. And I hardly talk to my sister because she has a University degree, and married a classless, no-good Jamaican. Oh and he still beats her. I don’t get it.
5. I am partially deaf, however I graduated as one of the top 1% in University, so I really hate it when people perceive that by any stretch of their flat imagination, that I am stupid. I observe EVERYTHING YOU BOZOS. I made up for my lost hearing.
6. Hip Hop is utter garbage, and makes you want to fight with people. Ironic since I can’t hear, LOL. Hearing Aids.
7. Rihanna is so over the hill and speeding to crash and burn, since Umbrella, I don’t know…
8. I want a boyfriend without the commitment, but in reality I would like to see him twice a month just to talk. Funny enough I am serious.
9. I am not a fan of black men, however, I value the precious few that are exceptionally great faithful husbands and fathers, and yes they do exist.
10. I am a super fan of Sherlock Holmes, he is pretty much the guy that I would add up any guy that i meet, not the cocaine bit though.
There you have it, I’m tired, Rant’s done.
Ilíon
on 11 Aug 2010 at 11:54 am #
My one sister swore off children after the birth of her first one, but she didn’t swear off sex. It was the childbirth itself she didn’t want to go through again (but then, she was only 15 the first time); however, she later changed her mind.
Ilíon’s last blog post..Homogamy and civilizational decline
Candice
on 14 Aug 2010 at 11:39 pm #
Anonymous, you sound like a very intelligent woman who knows herself. That’s good that you’re not having sex. It can be enjoyable but there’s a lot of bullsh*t that comes along with it. The bit u said about the boyfriend arrangement you would like to have, I think it’s possible. All the benifits of having a boyfriend, without being tied down.
Ilíon
on 15 Aug 2010 at 12:06 am #
“… The bit u said about the boyfriend arrangement you would like to have, I think it’s possible. All the benefits of having a boyfriend, without being tied down.”
Indeed — (some) women use men much as (some) men use women.
“Anonymous, you sound like a very intelligent woman who knows herself. That’s good that you’re not having sex …”
Engaging in sexual activity “just to get it out of the way” (which is a very common reason women give for having thrown away their virginity), or some similar or equally foolish rationale, will not make you happy. It’s more likely to make you miserable.
Your body — your self in this material world — is a thing of inestimable value; you should not casually bestow yourself on any man. You should give yourself only to the man who truly gives himself to you – and a man who does not value/respect you enough to wait until he has married you gives a strong indication that he does not truly gives himself to you.
.
.
Let’s say that you do finally get seriously involved with a man. And let’s say that he is pressuring you to “give it up” (we’re assuming that you’re not likewise pressuring him, subtly or not subtly – which, from personal experience, is quite an assumption about modern women).
So, ask him this: “What if you and I were to have a daughter. When she is a young woman, are you going to be OK with some guy, who is not her husband, trying to have sex with her?”
If he claims he’ll be OK with it, that is all you need to know to know that he is not really a man, and that he is certainly not worth your time.
If he admits that he’ll not be OK with it, then point out something like this: “So, you don’t want some dumb-ass “m/f” using your daughter as though she were a slut, but you’re ready and willing to use your daughter’s mother as a slut?”
Ilíon’s last blog post..A Conversation with David
Tony stark
on 19 Aug 2010 at 1:32 am #
Cats and dogs can suffer from multiple causes of itching, which in most cases is due to one of three or combination of either flea bite allergies, inhalant/contact allergies and/or food allergies. All itchy cats like this should be on some sort of flea control regimen, as well as making sure if there is a flea problem on the animals to make sure the home is treated as well with products like knock out or siphotrol house treatment, or even having home professionally exterminated, as much of flea life cycle occurs in the environment, and I honestly dont think any of the current products truly get rid of all of the flea eggs on the animal that end up in the environment. To help with symptomatic treatment of your pet, you could try an antihistamine such as chlorphenirimine at a dose of 2 mg twice daily, as well as adding fatty acids to the diet like Missing link for cats or nordic naturals pet cod liver oil. I have also find the very palatabe DMG liquid also helpful in easing allergic symptoms when used in conjunction with other products like this. If itching persists and fleas are under total control , than a full veterinary allergy workup should be done including a 6-8 week low allergy dietary trial to rule out food allergies as contributing to itching, as well as even stronger medications your vet can give such as oral prednisone or occasional injections of a longer acting steroid known as depomedrol.