Wednesday, September 9, 2009

We’re Just Too Big. There, I said it.

I have tried to bite my tongue a little on this issue because I knew everyone would yell at me, but the situation has gotten to a point of crisis.  We are so damn fat.  And we are killing ourselves and our children.

I don’t know what it was about this summer.  Perhaps it was the unfortunate intersection of an increasingly obese population with the fashion fads of skinny jeans and hoe wear.  Whatever the reason, it wasn’t pretty.  I saw more guts hanging over jeans, more rolls in backs and more stretch marks in the past few months than I had seen in the last five years.  And these are girls under 18.

Its actually quite scary.  If these young women are this big and out of shape at 16, what will they look like at 30 or after they have children?  These girls are a walking health care crisis.  We are in danger of losing an entire generation to diabetes, heart disease and hypertension.  Entirely preventable diseases that we allow to claim our young people while we sit idly by.

We all know that America as a whole has an obesity problem.  Most of us could shed a few pounds, exercise more and eat better.  But the fact that we have passed on our bad habits to our children and then allowed them to run wild in the candy aisle at Costco is inexcusable. 

And African-American women have a particularly complicated problem.  We are told from the time that we are young that men like thick women.  I didn’t know anyone growing up who wanted to be skinny.  You wanted to have a nice ass, thick thighs and nice boobs.  A little extra meat on your bones was considered a good thing and still is.  It is absolutely true that we can carry a little more weight and still look good.  HOWEVER,  we seem to have gotten carried away.   The term “thick” is increasingly used by our women to justify being too damn fat.  Yes, you may have an ass the size of a kitchen table, but so is your belly.  Serena Williams is “thick,” you’re probably just fat.

I applaud women for being confident and secure in their own skin but please don’t tell me that there is nothing wrong with being five feet five and 190 pounds.  You can proudly exclaim that you are a “big girl” and “big girls” are beautiful, but don’t leave out the most important part:  big girls are more likely to be sick and die early.  When will we be honest with ourselves?    This seems to be a recurring theme in many urban communities.  Instead of addressing a problem, we just turn it on its head and celebrate it as unique African-American culture. 

Now, I am well aware of the challenges many urban communities face when it comes to diet.  There are few grocery stores and many carry-outs.  There is fast food but no sit-down restaurants.  Yes, these things are absolutely true and should be addressed and reformed in a systematic way city by city.  However, that doesn’t give us a license to drown ourselves in fat and grease in protest.

Frankly, when I was growing up, the city was no different.  Fast food places and carry-outs were still prevalent but somehow we all managed to make it through adolescence without size 16 pants and inhalers.  But, back then we did a little thing called playing outside.  We only had four channels to watch and unless it was Saturday morning or a weekday between 3-5p, there was generally nothing on any of them you wanted to watch.  There was no internet and no video games (except my blazing hot Atari 2600 – do not hate.)  So you had to actually play with each other.   McDonald’s was a rare treat that we got excited about.  Its just a different world now.  But knowing that, we must act.

So there are cultural issues to contend with regarding this onset of childhood obesity.  But that’s the good news.  Cultural means we can actually change it.  But to change it in our children, we must change it in ourselves.

We eat too much of the wrong thing, we don’t get off the couch often enough, we drink, we smoke.  Now I’m no saint, I will get a McDonald’s #1 in a New York minute, but I do live a life where I am aware of what I’m eating and try to drag my ass to the gym on a regular basis.  The drinking we can discuss in another post.

All I’m saying is that, much like other problems our community faces, we cannot sit by, do nothing and watch our kids get fatter and fatter.  Big kids become big adults and eventually have big health problems.  No one is responsible for our young people but us.  Whether its getting them involved in more physical activity, more organized team sports or just limiting the amount of crap we have in our homes for them to eat.  But we must set good examples.  James Baldwin says while children may not listen to you, they never fail to imitate you. Maybe you could do something with them, even if its as simple as walking around the block or a track.

I know in this new child-centric world that we don’t want to hurt a child’s feelings, we don’t want to embarrass them or ever upset them in any way.  They are little kings and queens and we want to pretend like everything about them is great and perfect and there are no losers and everyone is a winner and all that crap.  But you know what, there are losers and there are fat people.  They shouldnt be either.  And if it takes wrestling that chicken wing out of their mouth to save their life, then so be it.

These are lives.  We are seeing an exponential increase in diabetes among our young people.  Dont they have enough challenges?  On the bus I see parents feeding their kids soda and cheese curls at 8am.  We have got to take some responsibility for the lives of our children.      

This isn’t about fashion or some European standard of beauty bullshit ( i already hear the black nationalists putting on their Africa medallions about to get in my ass).  I certainly don’t think everyone needs to be a size 6, and frankly im thankful our young girls dont grow up obsessed with being thin like our white counterparts, HOWEVER,  I do wish we would focus as much on the health and well-being of our young people as much as we focus on the expensive clothes we get them to put over their fat asses.

The solutions are complex and multi-layered and in the end it comes down to each individual figuring out what is best for them and their families.  I just want you to do something so I don’t have to look at your 15 year old’s gut hanging out of her too-tight Ed Hardy shirt on the bus in the morning.  I dont think thats too much to ask.

Peace people.

100 Responses to “We’re Just Too Big. There, I said it.”

1. Sammy on 09 Sep 2009 at 10:46 pm #

   There is a big difference between being overweight (or just plain fat) and walking around in public in cloths six sizes too small.

   And there really are black women who dress like the lady in the photo at the top of this article. There must be a mental disconnect between the eyes and brain of anyone who dresses like this.

2. NikCee on 10 Sep 2009 at 9:19 am #

   Very well written. I wish more people could read this and take from it. I’ve seen more whole bellies in half shirts this summer than I could deal with. I unfortunately saw a very plump little boy at Sam’s club with his very rotund mother (and other chunky kids) feasting off of samples. Sigh.

3. Mamadoc on 10 Sep 2009 at 10:26 am #

   Nothing to add to that because you said it and said it very well. My next step is to share.

   Thank you! I find myself just hoping to get that email saying you have a new blog post and get so excited when it finally happens. I love the fact that your blogs are more quality than quantity.

   Mamadoc’s last blog post..Youssou N’Dour: I Bring What I Love

4. Seabreeze on 10 Sep 2009 at 10:50 am #

   YOU BETTA PREACH!! I catch an INSTANT attitude when I see a fat mother in McD’s ordering for herself as well as her fat kids. The same money she spent on the entire order could’ve got her a bag of rice, a whole chicken and canned vegetables. Bake the chicken, boil the price, warm the veggies and voila! Healthy meal. No it may not be organic or even fat free but it’s better than making your daily dinner a meal from a fast food or wing shack. I feel so bad for these kids because it’s their parents that are setting the bad example. Even if the parents are slim, I see them letting their child eat whatever they want while their waistline expands. Some parents just don’t want to hear their kids mouth so they’re quick to let the kids lead them instead of the other way around. That’s disgusting! I too see kids in the morning eating potatoe chips, candy, drinking soda or 25 cent juice. I get so disgusted. I personally think it’s a form of child abuse to let your child sit around inside all day and eat crappy food. When we were little we were outside climbing trees, playing kick-ball, cutting through people backyards on our “missions” lol. So when we came in for the night we were hungry because we worked up an appetite, not because we were playing video games/watching tv all day and just eating for the hell of it. Ok, I’m going to stop. I know I’m ranting but this is SO TRUE!

5. Ms. M on 10 Sep 2009 at 10:59 am #

   Jam, I couldn’t agree more. We have been confusing self-confidence and bad health for years. The bulge battle is one I’m constantly fighting and not always winning, however, it is one I continue to fight at all costs. I want to live life in a healthy body and if I had children, I’d want them to live in one as well. We absolutely must improve the way we feed our kids so that they can live well.

   Ms. M’s last blog post..Say What?

6. Nana Ataa on 10 Sep 2009 at 11:18 am #

   I am an African American clinical dietitian and lactation consultant. While I am not a thin person (never have been) at all, I would consider myself a ‘thick and fit’ woman. I totally agree with all of the points that you’ve made in this blog. Fast food and inactivity abound with our youth, especially our girls and young women.

   I work in at the clinical and the community level, and I also write for an online newsmagazine for African Americans ( http://www.empowernewsmag.com/listings.php?article=174 ), but I have received minimal amounts of positive response from individuals or groups in terms of folks wanting to actively prevent chronic problems caused in part by long term obesity.

   Sadly - the only time African American clients actively seek out my nutrition counseling services is when they are in the process of qualifying for their bariatric surgeries (gastric bypass or lap banding).

   Breastfeeding is also one of the major ways that could reduce the incidence of childhood obesity within any population. However - this is the healthiest of infant feeding that we simply do not practice as an African American cultural norm. Many chronic health problems - like asthma, obesity, allergies, GI problems, diabetes, breast and ovarian cancer - could be reduced or averted if we initiated and continued breastfeeding for at least the first 6 months of life. This would help improve the health of generations of families to come.

   I won’t give up the fight! I love what I do, and I continue to work with those members of our community - online and in person - who are willing and ready to do something proactive about their health. But it is challenging when children don’t have parents to model healthier behaviors. It’s hard when folks equate dressing modestly / appropriately for your age and weight and height, regular exercising and eating well (water, veggies, fruit, whole grains, non-saturated fats) with ‘being White’.

7. Quesha on 10 Sep 2009 at 12:00 pm #

   thank you for being so eloquent in writing this. i go on and on and on so much about health that i know that ppl try and tune me out. for some reason ppl do NOT seem to care that they are killing themselves one fried chicken wing at a time. and folks always want to fall back on the easy excuses like, “it is in my genes to be big,” or “i have a thyroid problem.” stop with the excuses and take a little bit more action to be healthy!

8. Cap'n Crunch on 10 Sep 2009 at 12:19 pm #

   I totally agree with you. The part about McDonald’s being a treat got me thinking. Growing up, my parents would work all day, come get us around 6pm. Then we would come home and they would make dinner from scratch. It never took long for them to make dinner. Today, it’s all about convenience and those convenience foods (fast foods, restaurants, microwave dinners) are what’s making us fat. We need to get back to preparing our own food. It doesn’t take long to make a meal. And it’s cheaper, too.
   The other thing is, with all the violence, drugs, crime, and kidnapping going on today, most parents are afraid to kick their kids out of the house to play. Add that to the microwave dinners they serve in schools today and no recess and you get fat kids. Until they bring back real lunch and recess, we need to have alternatives to for the kids or this trend will continue. They have free or cheap dance and exercise classes at the rec centers. Maybe we should be looking into things like that.

9. Angel on 10 Sep 2009 at 12:52 pm #

   Cap’n Crunch, thank you so much for bringing up the issues of school lunches. Now I’m aware that the school budget is getting tighter and tighter across the country. Food isn’t cheap and the cost is going up. However. I do not and canNOT understand what in the hell happened to serving a good amount of protein at lunch!? Protein is what builds muscles and keeps brain functions strong. The appropriate amount of protein in a meal is what keeps you from being hungry between meals. It also keeps you from getting diabetes, hypoglycemia, and an expanding waist line.

   For example: my oldest kid comes home yesterday complaining that he was already hungry an hour after lunch was over because all they had available was PB&J sandwiches, salad, and a fruit cup. I asked him what other forms of protein were available and he said, “Some greasy fishsticks. I tried them and I couldn’t swallow they were so nasty.” This is a boy who knows how to classify food into carbs, fats, and protein. Even the simple proteins like rice+beans or pasta+cheese.

   Where, I ask you, is the protein in that diet? Peanut butter only has so much. It’s mostly fat and sugar. You add in a carb laden salad and fruit cup with that mess and you’re lucky if your kid doesn’t gnaw his own arm off before he gets home!

   My kid’s school has removed the soda from the vending machines and added in fruit juices and diet/caffeine free sodas. Nice step. But how ‘but suggesting water instead? Only on rare occasions to my kids drink anything but water at home. I’m not a food Nazi. I’m healthy. I want them to be healthy. I want them to learn how to make good choices and feel good about it. Looking around, he’s not going to have to do much to feel better. It’s sad. More than a quarter of the population at his elementary school are obese.

   I do teach by example. The kids take walks with me. We rotate machines at the gym. I teach them about cooking and how to look at their plate with open eyes instead of open stomachs. My two boys are finally understanding just how much they are lacking at school and it pisses them off. They are 8 and 9 years old.

   I don’t have the time to become part of the PTO but after the lunchroom debacle I’m going to be forced to. I can’t stand to sit by and do nothing. It’s just plain disgusting.

   At this point I’m doing four hours of homework with them every night, giving them more physical exercise than they get at school, and feed them 10 times better than their school can.

   Homeschool anybody??

10. bigdaddycc on 10 Sep 2009 at 5:01 pm #

    “…but don’t leave out the most important part: big girls are more likely to be sick and die early.”

    This ought to be more than enough reason to back away from the table..

11. AC on 10 Sep 2009 at 11:19 pm #

    Excellent article! I couldn’t agree more with all of your notable points!

12. Dw on 10 Sep 2009 at 11:21 pm #

    i read this and thought to myself, i’m glad i am not the only one thinking this. as a man i love myself a “thick” shapely woman, BUT there comes a point where “thick” is one Lays chip away from fat. Why can’t these borderliners just admit what they are?

13. EB on 11 Sep 2009 at 1:28 am #

    I have nothing but praises for your post. Very well written, balanced view points and overall a subject worth discussing in every coffee shop in America.

    I loved reading your post and the following replies. Taken all together, we have a snapshot of the real problem. Of course there’s food. Then microwaves, lack of good food choices, bad food education, crime, poverty, internet, self identify, cultural norms, etc… It is a perfect storm of things happening at once.

    As you and other people have said, knowledge is Power. Yes it is. I think it is time we are educated and pass that along to our children. In the meantime, why don’t we get rid of this vague notion of being “thick”. I wish that it would be stricken from our vocabularies in the same way we have tried to get rid of the “N” word. You can’t define it, quantify it or even know when you’ve passed it. As one poster has said, “one Lay’s chip away…” That’s the best we can do. Let’s stop saying I want a thick woman; a little meat on her bones and say, I want a healthy woman. Let’s say we want a woman who knows “how to classify food into carbs, fats, and protein” as another poster wrote.

    In the end, as a community, we need to redefine our value system. Let’s start by using terminology that is quantifiable and realistic.

    E

14. N on 12 Sep 2009 at 7:54 pm #

    I’ve often been told by the opposite sex, “You’re fine, you’re nice ‘n’ thick”, and my internal voice would shout, “Girl YOU know you’re fat, take your butt to the gym!” So this post hit home.

    I agree with EB that the post and comments should be taken together. I’m aware of multiple reasons why I went from being an active, slim child to a sedentary, thicker-than-thick adult. Knowing the root causes hasn’t always translated into action, but it makes it hard to hide from the truth. It’s a constant battle that I’m determined to win-to live better and stop the cycle once I have kids.

    BTW, I hate that kids get soda and crap food in school with no recess. What happened to the old 1/2 pint of milk, turkey sandwich and a piece of fruit? How much more expensive is this than the convenience food?

15. Cathee on 12 Sep 2009 at 10:53 pm #

    Regarding school lunches: I remember when elementary schools did not serve lunch, and everyone had to bring lunch, the old bag lunch. My mother determined what would be in it, and it was usually a sandwich, a piece of fruit, and a couple of cookies. I was expected to drink water, or given money to buy milk. I do believe most schools allow students to bring lunches, if the “hot” lunches being served are not to their liking.

16. Laura on 13 Sep 2009 at 3:16 am #

    Excellent post, as usual. I’m white, so I know I can’t understand the ‘thick’ mentality. But, I do see a lot of girls of all races, ages, etc. saying that big is beautiful and they love themselves as they are now. The Age of Self Esteem has really hurt everybody, in my humble opinion.
    I’m naturally slender (not thin-I got some hugely wide hips and boobs) and it’s amazing how many girls make fun of me. They accuse me of throwing up everything I eat, not eating at all, never leaving the gym, etc. ‘Skinny bitch! No one likes toothpicks!’ But if I make one fat joke I’m being weightist (WTF?!?!?!). It’s just silly.
    And you’re so right about how things used to be different. I feel sorry for kids today. They don’t know what the so called good life is depriving them of.

17. laughing808 on 13 Sep 2009 at 11:55 pm #

    good article, excellent point!!!
    Knowing is half the battle and doctors are pointing out the life threatening effects of obesity and the media is quick to co-sign, given all that why are we not using that information for our own good and to better the lives of the younger generations.

18. KG on 14 Sep 2009 at 10:38 am #

    You raise a very important point about health versus weight. My struggle is particularly different because I am slender and always have been. While my parents brought me up eating balanced diets, now off at college, I KNOW my eating habits are unhealthy and its only a matter of time before my metabolism grinds to a halt.

    But that’s not the cause of my discontent. We all know that there is not always a direct correlation between eating/exercise habits and an absolute size, meaning if everyone eats the same food and exercises the same way there will still be differing bodies. I truly believe that the pursuit of health should be paramount because it can apply to ALL size types. De-emphasizing weight, which is personal, to emphasize healthy, which is broad, removes the self-confidence (or lack of it) excuse.

    Even skinny people are not free of health complications. People should only feel at peace about how their body looks when they know they are treating it right.

    While all that may be more applicable for “borderliners”, Obesity is a real issue that needs to be addressed. Thanks for addressing it head on. Great post.

19. I812 on 15 Sep 2009 at 5:12 pm #

    I think that you said that very well. I am only 30, and I can see the difference now then when I was in school. We use to get out of school play sports at school or the neighborhood play ground. Kids now go to school come home and sit in the house until the next school day. I will say that I eat out 85 percent of the time, (due to the job I have) but I get some exercise during the day. Point blank kids just do not get outside enough.

20. jazzyj on 15 Sep 2009 at 9:05 pm #

    Straight with no chaser is what you are. I Love it! What you say is on point, no beating around the bush, or skirting the issues. I wish this could posted in every Health Center, Hospital and School in America.

21. Legman37 on 16 Sep 2009 at 1:16 am #

    I’d like to comment to dispel the myth that all black me are “ass-men” and like it “thick” (i.e. fat). I personally am a leg and foot/hand man. It goes without saying that I can certainly appreciate a female in her entirety, but a pair of toned, conditioned, shapely legs and attractive pedicured feet and manicured hands will always capture my attention. Too many women have been watching too much BET and assume that every black man adores a fat monstrous ass, that looks as if it’s constantly sweating even when at rest. I’ve dated black women exclusively all my entire adult life, but I have to admit I can understand why some, not all but some black men date outside of our race. If you (black male) like myself value health and fitness, it can be a true challenge to find a sista who is fit as well as health conscious. Like I said, I date exclusively black women and am not trying to find any excuse for some brothas to already do what they want to do (date white women) but sistas should be willing to recognize that size and weight can be a legitimate reason why some brothas are less attracted to sistas. When I see a big girl, attractive or not, I intuitively see her as being undisciplined and excessive and in not just her diet.

22. MzPoodle1 on 16 Sep 2009 at 3:26 pm #

    Jam you made a lot og good points. However, people like you are part of the problem. Calling fat people “losers” DOES NOT HELP THEM TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!! I know some probably would say, “Well neither does coddling them.” And no, coddling doesn’t help either. When you call a fat person a loser, you make them want to eat cookies, not exercise. The woman in the picture probably still dresses like that (I know that pic is at least five years old) and is probably still that size. You putting her picture on a website probably didn’t phase her at all Her logic: You pay none of her bills, you buy none of her food, so none of the shit you talk matters to her.

    Now a more intelligent person would see that you are trying to send the message that this person is unhealthy and is inappropriately dressed for a woman her age, or anybody’s age. I believe most people get that. However, the people you’re “exposing” could give two fucks about what you’re saying because they’e probably heard it all before. Why not involve yourself with trying to help your community make better choices instead of sitting down at a computer bitching about how you don’t want to look at back rolls and stretch marks. Close your eyes if you don’t want to see it. Start a garden in your neighborhood, DO something, instead of talking about somebody. Be part of the solution.

23. MzPoodle1 on 16 Sep 2009 at 3:37 pm #

    This is why your show and website is shot to hell!

24. jam donaldson on 16 Sep 2009 at 3:43 pm #

    Ahhh Mz. Poodle, where do i begin. It always kills me how people immediately start with the “so what are you doing to help”? diatribe, assuming that I do nothing but never bothering to ask if i do anything. For the record, I made a career out representing low-income residents in court who could not afford an attorney and I also volunteer for Meals on Wheels. I like law and old people. Thats how i give back. But I guess you want me to volunteer as the neighborhood personal trainer too?

    I never called that woman a loser. For all I know she could be a Rhodes Scholar, but that wont stop her from getting diabetes or having a heart attack.

    And for the record, my show did the highest ratings of the summer and my site is one of the largest trafficked Af-Am owned sites in the country. If that’s “shot to hell” I’ll take it.

    Peace Poodle.

25. Tray on 16 Sep 2009 at 5:15 pm #

    Speak Jam, and Mz.Poodle I’m sure your ass big as a house. HIT DOGS HOLLA, now take your fat ass to the gym and put the fork down.

26. niggaj on 16 Sep 2009 at 5:59 pm #

    I know what you mean, because some of my best friends are bigger than a muthafucka, some have gotten surgery, some have gone to the gym, and some have done both. Some have become smaller, some have done the same things that keep them big.
    I know the things that need to be done require a lifestyle change, but having lived the life for so long they find it really hard.
    I ask them would they prefer a wheel chair, diabetes and constant pain?
    And I live in houston, where there are more flabby, udderly fabulous chicks than you can shake a chicken wing at, and they all feel like you are attacking them when you tell them, I would date you but your arm shouldn’t be as large as my thigh.

27. The Cookie Jar on 17 Sep 2009 at 10:20 pm #

    Thank you.

    While my family isn’t in the best shape, we eat organic/green and try to avoid pre-packaged and pre-seasoned crap. We also try to not eat out so much and do all sorts of cleanses. Not only are we doing that, but we’re buckling down on exercise (mostly aerobics). If I have to go somewhere, no matter the distance, I walk there and later I take the bus.

28. Bianca on 18 Sep 2009 at 4:09 pm #

    when i go out, more often than not i will see a woman in her late 40’s-early 50’s in a rascal. i’m sure if i were to ask her why she is in a scooter at the grocery store she would probably tell me about her gout in her legs or how her heart is fragile. (most likely she would tell me to stfu and mind my business.) but they would never even mention the elephant in the room…that they’re too fat and they’re health problems stem from this fact. i actually don’t think black folks realize the slave mentality that still affects us to this day. there are so many things that we associate with being or acting “white” so we want no parts of it.

29. Larry O. on 21 Sep 2009 at 11:46 am #

    Recently I contacted Johns Hopkins Hospital re: health studies(paid volunteer).I was asked questions regarding my health and asked if I considered my self “overweight”.No, I am not.I exercise regularly and was a collegiate football player,Police Olympic Champion, and high school coach.
    I was asked what i thought @ obesity in my community.I replied that I am appalled at the mordid obesity I see in young people and older adults.To go to the gym and see a fat man lift his belly to wash under that slap of fat was ridiculous.Yet aloy of men and women think it’s nothin wrong w/looking like that..even think themselves attractive and sexy..loke that fat woman at the top of that article.High bloob pressure, diabeties,and gross obesity is responsible for more health related deaths than any illegal drug being used.
    Wake up, Black Americans and heed the comment Dr. King made in his last speech”…Like anybody, I’d like to live a LONG life;Longevity has it’s place….”
    Let’s live healthier and let’s eat wiser and healthier.You owe it to your self.

30. MzPoodle1 on 21 Sep 2009 at 11:55 pm #

    It sure doesn’t look like a lot of traffic to me, And a show ending after one season is great, too.

    @ Tray: LMAO@ “A Hit dog holla” Nigga please! Try backing your ass away from the vienna sausages and pork and beans. Now log off the internet at the library, and take your broke ass back to the roach motel you prolly live in. Thank you come again!:)

31. BlackGoddess on 22 Sep 2009 at 2:16 pm #

    The major issues is the food. Our so called “soul food” is killing us. Yes we were able to make scraps and trash good food but that was centuries ago when we had active jobs. The real “soul food” is sun food meaning fruits,nuts,grains & vegetables. Let’s not mention the fast food, which is not even real food. Black people need to do research on what is being sold in our communities.

32. Breezy F Baby on 23 Sep 2009 at 10:53 am #

    I agree with you there. I am no where near skinny but I take care of myself. even if you just walk every day this is some form of exercise. you will never in yo life see me out somewhere in something like that picture above and im a size 9. im not sure people look at their actuality mirror before they step out. cuz they will straight clown someone in the same outfit lookin like that. i mean really? i am expecially scared of the ladies that wear 3 size too small shirts and have the whole muffin top thing goin on. all u gotta do is buy a bigger size, and if they dont make it, don’t buy it. simple as that. complain the the company that they need to make bigger sizes so you can. but i don’t want to see your bare gut just like you don’t wanna see mine. not cute.

33. L.C. on 27 Sep 2009 at 5:38 pm #

    Wow. Forgive me for sounding childish, but you guys are so mean. Fat people may be fat, but they are still people with feelings. Insults and cruel jokes are certainly not going to help the problem.

34. Cali on 27 Sep 2009 at 8:27 pm #

    The bottom line is everyday can’t be Thanksgiving dinner. People act like they can eat whatever they want w/ no consequences & it’s simply not true. They wanna pretend to embrace their size & front like they’re sexy anyway, but it’s rarely the case. This is personal for me - while I’ve never been big, I did used to have bad eating habits. Plenty of white bread & pasta & butter, etc. I just wanted to eat what I wanted to eat, & then I noticed I had never been in shape in my life! So I had to change it up, it took years to understand that lots of the things I love just can’t be consumed often. That I better embrace brown rice, up my veggies & protein. That I’d rather wear something cute than eat something sweet & fattening. & while everyone is prone to cheat every now & again, that’s exactly what it should be - cheating, something you need to make up for, NOT the daily routine of shoving any & everything in your face. I have family members, young ones, that are morbidly obese. & I’m not supposed to say anything because I’m “the skinny one”, yet I’m the only one that’s eating right. Myself & ONE young cousin are the ONLY ones in the immediate family who don’t have a weight problem. It breaks my heart to see it. The teasing they endure, the hesitation to sit in chairs that don’t look strong enough, the avoidance when family pictures are taken. It starts to effect the entire family when it gets out of hand. & the parents allow it, & everyone just keeps going & buying diet pills & taking them after they’ve just spent how much in the drive-through. & then they’re broke b/c all their money is going to fast food, diet pills, & weaves & nails (an effort to look pretty & compensate for the weight). I could go on but I’ll kill it here. We are too damn big & it’s just not cool. We’re setting kids up for failure, especially our young girls who’s heads must be so twisted already. It’s sad man, truly sad.

35. Sammy on 27 Sep 2009 at 10:23 pm #

    How about moving on from this subject? It has just about been beaten to death.

    Meanwhile, the mostly white republicans and what passes for media (99.95% white) in this country are doing everything they can to try to undermine President Obama.

    They are, of course, assisted in their efforts by many who masquerade as black. These are black folk who have suddenly found themselves with two nickles to rub together so they become republican. They have earned their golden knee pads by appearing on white tv shows with white hosts (what else) to do their own bit of Obama bashing and by actively participating with the white folks in trying to destroy the Obama presidency. Travis comes to mind along with a bunch of psudo-intellectuals who identify themselves as “black public scholars” or some such.

    Now, some of the good old white folk are trying to destroy ACORN and to somehow link the President with the latest phoney scandal.

    And who do we hear defending ACORN? Certainly not any of the black public scholars, or Travis, or anyone else of that motley bunch who blabber on tv white gasbag shows. These people have access to the public air waves and could, if they spoke out en massse, question the actions and motives of those behind the latest efforts to destroy an organization that helps poor people, many of whom are black. They could offer a defense that those of us do not have access to the public air waves cannot. Must keep the gold on those knee pads from wearing out.

    And don’t forget those masquerading as religious and community leaders, who by the way took money from George W. to keep black people quite and out of sight. Why don’t they question the motives of the people trying to undercut the President. Must be too busy collecting the last dollar from the little old ladies social security checks. Must be too busy worrying about such non-issues like gay marriage. Must be trying to figure out how many new $3,000 suits they can get for the collection money.

    But, I guess we will have to leave the questioning of motives to people like Rachel Maddow and a few other WHITE journalists.

    How about starting a new subject like “what can we do to get BLACK people with the means and resources to start standing up for President Obama, black people and organizations like ACORN”?

    So, why not leave the “she/he is too fat, too ugly, too tall, too short”, the latest rap star(???) acting up, who wears/does not wear a weave and yet another tribute to Michael Jackson for some other time?

36. sissimpson on 30 Sep 2009 at 6:10 am #

    I am just so grateful to hear SOMEBODY say it:

    CONVERSATE is NOT a word!

37. Bianca on 01 Oct 2009 at 11:31 pm #

    for those of you who think this commentary is too harsh, i think you are forgetting one very sad but true fact. every time some one steps out of the house like the picture above, it reflects on the ENTIRE race. when our people look like shit, act like shit, kill each other, talk about killing each other, etc., etc., we ALL look bad. is it fair? nope. but it is the world we live in. when we let our brothers and sisters ruin themselves on a mass scale like this, we basically tell the world that we can’t keep our house in order.

38. Rosalind on 03 Oct 2009 at 7:29 pm #

    Bianca, I am not responsible for the entire black race. That mentality has to die. As long as we enforce this upon each other, non-blacks will continue to see us as a monolithic group. I have said it before, and I’m going to say it again - we are NOT the Borg!

    As far as the view on black women’s weight issues go, anytime I hear a black man gripe about how fat we all are, how we don’t care about our health, and how that’s why they’re turning to non-black women, I roll my eyes and utter “Negro, please”.

    If I believed that these men really gave a flying you-know-what about black women’s health, I wouldn’t be so cynical. But, I’m almost 40 years old and I have never encountered men that cared THAT much about my health (or my character, or my morals, or my cooking skills, or my… you get the picture). How laughable!

    What they cared about was my “light” skin, and my waist-to-booty ratio. Everything else was a very distant second or third level consideration. So please spare me the health talk, because I don’t see ANY of you brothers making any of these overweight women - who you would be with in a heartbeat if she was slim - your workout partners. No, if she’s not “bed ready” when you meet her, then you can’t be bothered.

    The irony is that when you run up on women who consider YOU not up to her standards, you beg and plead for her to “work with you” because you’re in the process of getting it together. Hypocrites, the lot of you! So, please drop the fake concern for black women’s health and at least be man enough to say what you REALLY mean, because your actions don’t match your words.

39. Bianca on 04 Oct 2009 at 9:09 pm #

    wow.

40. AdoreBlkWm on 04 Oct 2009 at 9:31 pm #

    Sammy, I wish you and a lot of other Black folks would quit being so damn simple. President Obama hasn’t shown Black people the least amount of interest. I can easily name a couple of things he’s done to undermine his credibility starting with his support of the retroactive immunity for the telecom criminals. Aside from what any Black intellectuals have had to say critical of Obama, I can see already that nothing is going to change in the next 3 years. Hell, the last likely fair election we had resulted in Kennedy’s assassination. You may have forgotten that recent bit of history but I am sure Obama being the scholar that he is hasn’t. All the elections are fixed and you’re too simple to realize it. We all saw the measure of criminality that occurred during the 8 yr. Bush Administration with absolutely no one going to jail. Oh you thing the people that allowed that to occur simply just relinquished their power and ran off because Obama got elected. NIGGA please!!! By a clue. Obama is doing no more than he’s allowed to do. The most intelligent thing you can do as someone who still believes in the system is register independent and vote accordingly. The only Democratic candidate with the balls to introduce articles of impeachment against Bush was Dennis Kucinich and guess what, Obama either voted against it or was absent. Voting for either of the same two parties and expecting something different is either a sign of insanity or stupidity. Which is it?

41. The Cookie Jar on 06 Oct 2009 at 9:12 pm #

    Personally, I don’t care what other Black women don’t do for themselves. It’s their funeral; not mine.

    When I go out walking everyday to buy fresh veggies and fruits to eat, I don’t have to worry about being part of “a monolithic group” because I stand out as one of the examples of extra hard work and dedication to my health and body.

42. MzPoodle1 on 07 Oct 2009 at 1:02 am #

    Cookie Jar, you’re a better example than Jam honestly,even though I don’t agree with your apathy. At least you’re doing what it takes to stay healthy, and not trying to blast every woman who dares to eat a corn chip. A person has to make THEIR OWN decision to be healthy. People need to realize that most folks don’t give a fuck about you talking about them, or not wanting to look at them. They’ll just write you off as the most overused word in the English language, a “hater.”

43. The Cookie Jar on 07 Oct 2009 at 5:25 pm #

    Lol! I’m sorry for my apathy MzPoodle1. It’s just that whenever I try to help others, I just about get my head bitten off… it’s a life or death situation for me!

44. Diamond Princess on 07 Oct 2009 at 6:36 pm #

    I just don’t know what makes people think that when a black person does something “bad” they represent the whole race, but when they do something “good”….. *you know the rest*

    Peace out!!

45. Cali on 08 Oct 2009 at 2:14 pm #

    I just have to chime in & agree w/ MzPoodle on the “hater” thing - it’s the new scapegoat for EVERYTHING under the damn sun - ridiculously overused & rarely valid!!

46. Deborah on 15 Oct 2009 at 9:00 pm #

    A big problem in some areas of Chicago is no grocery stores but too many liquor stores and fast food chains. You can’t buy a head of lettuce but you can imbibe all the Hennessy Black you desire to chase down that burger and fries. Add that to parents who leave for work before the kids leave for school–here’s a buck for chips and a pop–and we have problems.

47. Pam on 20 Oct 2009 at 2:47 pm #

    You are right on target. Obesity is killing us and we all need to step up and may attention to the message we are sending our young girls. Now Jam will you please address dating violence and HIV/AIDS in your blog. You have a unique voice and many will listen.

    Peace

48. 24karats on 21 Oct 2009 at 10:59 am #

    This is absolutely perfect. You have said it all. Thank you!

49. MzPoodle1 on 23 Oct 2009 at 11:07 pm #

    Another ass kisser.

50. Maguie on 30 Oct 2009 at 1:00 pm #

    MzPoodle, get your engines gearing up (and forgive me for being so brash):

    If you’re as big as the female showcased above, you ought to do the rest of us a favor and cover up. Skinny chicks with boobs hanging out aren’t cute, las grandes with their…excess hanging out isn’t cute either. Sorry.

    As far as the health issue goes, obesity is a terrible cycle starting with obese parents who can’t keep up with energetic kids who are then plopped down in front of the tele to keep them occupied whilst they stuff their fat little faces with Little Debbie cakes, buttery popcorn and soda or high fructose corn syrup “juices”.

51. alilcynic on 31 Oct 2009 at 11:26 pm #

    i think ppl get fat 4 the same reason ppl use drugs— depression and poor self esteem- which gets passed on and becomes a habit– a lifestyle– a culture, from generation to generation. then it looks like teen/single pregnancy, obesity, drug abuse, and behavior that say— i don’t believe in the future. i’m gonna die anyway– so i might as well do ….

    next time i see an obese person i’m going to try to give a genuine smile that says … i don’t what– something good.

52. Rosalind on 01 Nov 2009 at 7:32 am #

    alilcynic: Not all people are fat due to depression and poor self-esteem. Some people have genetic issues surrounding their weight and/or metabolism. Others may have to take medications that cause serious weight gain. I’m in this last group. I’d rather take this medication and be overweight and ALIVE, than slim and on death’s door.

    Why is it that slender people have such a hard time believing that some fat people are happy people? Some slim people act like being thin is the “be all, end all”, and it’s not. We really need to stop taking our cues from TV.

53. Travis on 01 Nov 2009 at 12:53 pm #

    I think Rosalind has a good point about weight in that some people have no problem being larger and are rather happy with their state of being. I would have to disagree however with the perception or notion that only some people have a genetic predisposition to being overweight. That’s nonsense. Every human has this genetic predisposition… you consume more calories without burning them, you WILL pickup more weight. There is no genetic mystery about this. It annoys me when people try to make weight gain about some unexplainable genetic mystery to distance themselves from accountability. And although there are some people who suffer medical ailments that predispose them to unusual weight gain, the vast majority of Americans suffer from a cultural disease called ‘lack-o-discipline’ and ‘over-n-dulgence’ which is representative of a larger issue. It really is just that simple. The fact that this epidemic phenomenon of obesity is specific to Americans illustrates my point. If I see a female that looks to be of African-American descent who happens to be thin and fit, I can usually safely assume that she was not born and raised in another country and probably moved here in her adult life.

54. Rosalind on 01 Nov 2009 at 8:06 pm #

    Travis, I was not talking about a genetic predisposition as you assumed. I was talking about very real GENETIC DISORDERS AT THE DNA LEVEL, which affected individuals can’t control. I also did NOT say anything about AILMENTS that predispose affected individuals to weight gain. What I said, QUITE PLAINLY, was that some people TAKE MEDICATIONS that DIRECTLY CAUSE serious weight gain. Predispositions are just that, and can usually be mitigated by doing appropriate (for the specific condition) things.

    I would like for people like you (who obviously feel superior to fat people, and thus feel ENTITLED - based on that feeling of SUPREMACY - to judge them) to stop pretending that you care about fat people. NONE OF YOU CARE. What you care about is how these fat people make you look to OTHERS (whomever they are). So, by criticizing, attacking, and publicly looking down on fat people, you are signaling to the OTHER people that you are not like “those people”.

    This is just another way for some black people to further separate themselves. It’s the 21st century’s version of colorism.

55. Rosalind on 01 Nov 2009 at 8:35 pm #

    I will not be coming back here to read or post, so please don’t leave anymore comments directed at me.

    When we fill out the “Website” box on the comment form, the URL to our websites do not get linked to our names, as is standard practice. The intent is to keep this blog’s readers from discovering other blogs - other possibly *competing* blogs - and that’s SO not cool.

    But, this is Jam’s house and it’s his/her right to set things up the way s/he wants. So, I’m out and going back to my 1400 visitors per month. Ciao!

56. Discreet dating on 11 Nov 2009 at 2:02 am #

    Its always fun reading your blog. Thanks for posting this!

57. MZPoodle1 on 12 Nov 2009 at 1:15 am #

    Maguie, if a skinny girl has her boobs out, again WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT HER!!??? If you didn’t pay for what she has on, whether she’s rail thin or as wide as an elephant’s ass, it has ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOTHING to do with you. People are going to do what they’re going to do, all we can do is offer help and move on. Judgement doesn’t do anything to help. If you see the girl with her gut hanging out of the Ed Hardy t-shirt on the bus, once you get off at your stop you’ll have seen four or five more girls looking similar. Wtf are you gonna do, spend your life talking shit about overweight people? Those same people are going to tell you to GTFOH and move on with their lives and suggest you do the same.

58. Maguie on 13 Nov 2009 at 2:56 pm #

    Now now, poochie, let’s now get too excited, shall we? I’m not entirely sure of how you gathered that I thought I had anything to do with anyone else’s obesity. All I’m saying is that fat people exist- skinny people and everyone inbetween do too. I’m not blind, and consequently, there are things I percieve to be pleasing, unpleasing and offensive. (Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.)

    With regard to the belligerent introduction to your seemingly hasty spiel, I infer that you never notice inappropriately clad people. Kudos to you, my friend; kudos to you.

59. MZPoodle1 on 14 Nov 2009 at 12:37 pm #

    Lol @ poochie! Whateva, I guess once a bitch recognizes a “pooch” she feels superior.Anyway, yes I notice people who are “inappropriately clad.” I just don’t feel the need to bitch about not wanting to see it when I didn’t have anything to do with why they purchased it, let alone why they’re wearing it. I could be wearing a pair of shoes that somebody who doesn’t know me finds “offensive” but who the hell are they to tell me not to wear them, and vice versa.

60. This Is Some Bull on 17 Nov 2009 at 12:06 am #

    “…but don’t leave out the most important part: big girls are more likely to be sick and die early.”

    Says who? How do you know who is healthy and who is not by looking at them, and who can say a thin or average sized person is not more likely to be sick and diet early? PLEASE! What business is it of anybody’s what another person chooses to wear or eat? If the person is not hurting or affecting YOU AND YOURS, then leave folks to live their own lives. How they choose to live is THEIR business. Ranting bout how fat somebody is and what they wear and eat is not going to help YOU in the long run. So many people are going around freaking out about fat. So fuck what? DO YOU and leave it alone!

61. This Is Some Bull on 17 Nov 2009 at 12:17 am #

    And I am so tired of the whole “fat = death/high blood pressure/diabetes bull shit diatribe. FYI, I work i the medical field, and I come across plenty of thin to average-sized people with far worse conditions and just as many cases of HBP and diabetes, so please, spare me that overused phrase.

    “OH NOEZ, TEH FATZ! SHE GONNA GETZ TEH DIABEETUS!”

    Also, with all this talk about going to the gym and working out - how do any of you know who does what simply on sight of them? You could see a fat woman and never know if she’s a runner or does Tae-Bo or visits the gym daily or if she’s a vegan or vegetarian. Not ALL VEGANS/VEGETARIANS ARE THIN. This particular article seems to reek of fat hate, IN MY OPINION, but you go ahead on.

    I’m not even going to get deep into the comment that brotha made on how there are little to no fit black women and how he can see why other brothers date outside their race. GTFOOHWTBS! WOOOOO! Y’all are cracking me up today!

62. Maguie on 18 Nov 2009 at 10:08 pm #

    Nah, breh; it’s my Tone- my choice of words that makes you feel inferior. Immanuel Kant, the philosopher, said that with education comes elitism…perhaps that’s evident in this thread, though that might not be true; however, I wouldn’t be able to assess that from your profane and Caps Locked response.

    May I remind you that the photo and blog were posted as an expression of thought. The option to “Leave a Reply” is an invitation to others to comment on the posting. It’s an invitation for people to share their thoughts on whatever issue is presented. So, if my comments, as well as anyone else’s, upsets you so much, perhaps, it would be beneficial to you to read the news or something less aggravating.

    …if the picture doesn’t bother you, i don’t think people’s comments should, either…

63. Emmy on 20 Nov 2009 at 4:36 am #

    I really want to dislike you because of you calling people “too damn fat.” I think its a poor choice of words, it’s insensitive, and it’s exactly why alot of black people have self esteem issues if they’re different. however, poor wording aside, you are right. we want to live long, healthy, fulfilled lives and we can’t do that if we’re having heart attacks everytime we walk up the steps.

    what I’m saying is, take your ass down the street to the carry out and get a fish sub with extra cheese and tartar sauce if you want. but don’t do this all the time, without following with some cardio and toning exercises and think you’ll be healthy.

    shit, I eat carry out every friday. chipotle on saturdays. big sunday dinners on sunday. but I workout and practice moderation throughout the week.

    though I must say, I can appreciate when a large person has confidence. I think its gorgeous and it makes me happy to see people accept themselves.

    I think health education for the kids should include more regular cardio and less team sports, because as a child I would witness kids getting teased and picked last and that would make them pick a different elective and that would be the end of their excercise! And I think there should be a healthy cooking class. Teach them that healthy food, if prepared right, can be just as good as unhealthy food, sometimes better!

    great article!

64. Emmy on 20 Nov 2009 at 4:38 am #

    @ my last comment, I’m sorry I articulated that first sentence wrong. I meant to say “I really want to dislike this article…” Not you.

65. Emmy on 20 Nov 2009 at 4:49 am #

    Also, I would like to add, I am an excessive person. I am over indulgent. I can never have a little of something, and I will never ever deprive myself so I knew that the ONLY way I would be able to stay fit would be to eat ALOT of healthy food. I’ll never be able to starve myself, diet, or stop snacking. My key point for myself is to snack on healthy shit, over indulge in healthy shit, and disguise it so it tastes unhealthy, but its healthy in reality.

    for instance, my salads…I load them with boiled eggs, mushrooms, crab meat, light salad dressing, pepper, a little cheese, olives, onions, black beans…these are all pretty healthy substitutions instead of eating a big fat burger I’ll have a big flavorful salad, made by me, and it saves money and fills me up!

    More people should be aware of the alternatives and that you don’t have to starve.

66. Emmy on 20 Nov 2009 at 5:03 am #

    one more thing, my God I feel stupid posting 4 times in a row but I keep forgetting to write certain shit.

    I think it’s completely possible to be fat, happy, and live a long live. I know people who are very big, chain smoke, STAY drunk, and are old and wrinkled with no signs of dying anytime soon. I feel as though people too often assume fat means you’re going to die if you take a wrong step.

    I think we could all stand to be a bit healthier, but it’s never okay to pick on someone, impose your beliefs on someone, or taunt them into shape. They need to do it on their own time, for themselves, and be comfortable with themselves whether they are 130, or 930.

    Love yourself bitches! You’re beautiful!

67. Maguie on 20 Nov 2009 at 2:54 pm #

    Emmy, you’re spot on, darling! I don’t diet or curb anything. I eat whatever I want, just prior to 8p and I run 6-8 miles a day. That keeps me hungry and fit, so I eat guilt free, and I loooooove to cook. I don’t eat meat, either- only seafood, and that’s probably once or twice a week. (ps- Not to be a know it all, but 1 egg yolk contains 2/3 of the daily value of your cholesterol intake; I looove eggs and eat them a few times a week, but I’ll remove the yolk. Canned beans contain an obscene amount of sodium, so rinsing them thoroughly or cooking dried beans makes indulging a lot less harmful in the long run!)

68. gourmet coffee on 20 Nov 2009 at 11:14 pm #

    yea but we can still shake it baby!!!

69. gourmet coffee on 20 Nov 2009 at 11:15 pm #

    the heavier you are the better the sex - trust me
    yea but we can still shake it baby!!!

70. Gigima on 23 Nov 2009 at 12:02 pm #

    I agree with everything you say, namely because I’ve been there. I am on my “weigh” back down to being the fit person I used to be. I allowed myself to get out of shape once I had our daughter and stayed home with her for three years. I stopped exercising, ate poorly and before long, I was HUGE! I’ve now dropped a total of 43 lbs and counting. I feel and look better and my doctor is ecstatic. There is just no excuse for treating ourselves so poorly. We invest massive amounts of time into so many things we like to do. However, we need to set aside time daily for exercise. We women also need to take the reigns with our men and children to help them make better choices about physical activity and what they eat. Our daughter now asks for healthy snacks like low fat crackers and celery sticks and we just about dropped when she requested cottage cheese at the store instead of candy or chips! It works people. We have to take responsibility for getting ourselves healthy.

71. Kisha on 25 Nov 2009 at 4:36 pm #

    Now I am a plus size female and I have called myself fat, big, whatever but I feel no different from my skinny friends (outside of the weight). I think that everyone has taken her message out of context. She was referring to the over weight people who are just lazy and passing this down to their children. I agree. I was the type that was outside everyday rain, snow or shine playing with my friends. I have ALWAYS been bigger than the average person but only consider myself unhealty when I don’t eat right or have lazy moments. I went into the gym the other day for my health assessment and the trainer was surpised that I ate like I did and my activity level based on my size. I eat fairly good. I don’t do takeout that often and I run around behind 2 -2 year old twins every day. I have a very active lifestyle and maybe I am not burning off as much as I am taking in but I don’t gain weight either. i cannot explain why I been this size all my life. I only lost alot of weight after I gave birth to my twins. That was the only time in my life I felt out of place with myself because I was so used to being plus size.

    I have changed the cycle where I think I may have gone wrong with my children. NO CANDY, their treat is fruit snack, a piece of fruit or cheese. I have come to realize if they were never introduced to it, they will never miss it. I do see that my daughter love sweets and if I allowed her to have it all the time, she will become obese. I think Jam touched on this subject and how we LET out children live and eat like this when it’s unecessary.

    All fat/big/plus/obese peeople are NOT lazy. I walk every day, eat a average plate, snack on fruit and am very active. Some of us are lazy but try not to frown upon them. Some of them do not take an interest in their kids health as they should because they may not be educated in doing so. Its just real that some people ARE NOT that on point. I think this post makes good sense but it won’t be a 360 turn around for MOST people. We would like it, expect it but now and days when we are the ones it’s relied upon, most of us don’t come through. Just like education, violence, etc. If WE do not change, we cannot expect change. I would like to see a post like this with some links attached on how this can be changed. We spend too much time pointing out the negative and expect a positive to evolve from it. You have the money for a gym membership, what about people that CAN’T AFFOR IT? How about a link to where someone can take their child once a week for free if possible? Its not expected for YOU to save the life just like it’s not expected for you to judge their life. We need to help instead of hinder. Everybody need somebody, lazy or not!! Now if you don’t mind, I am going to the gym and enjoy my Thanksgiving that will be 1 meal only and not a huge one that will be breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next 5 days. We can still enjoy without going overboard!!

72. eiweiß whey on 06 Dec 2009 at 12:24 pm #

    nice post, It is a bookmark worth^^

73. Kevin on 19 Dec 2009 at 12:16 am #

    Agreed. People just need to realize that even taking small steps makes a big difference, even without weight loss, since their bodies will be rejuvenated even with low level exercises without going to a gym. Eating properly, even if it just removes the empty calories/cheap sugar substitutes in soda will leave you with more energy and less thirst (instead of potentially fueling weight gain with a need to drink more). Unfortunately, many people only believe in doing healthy things so long as it provides sex appeal.

    There also is the case of what you said about feeling comfortable about one’s body while wearing flattering clothes which provides an admirable sense of fashion and a more thorough self-esteem rather than look like a proud slob. Though as seen with some responses, people like to be obstinate (typical can’t judge/lack right…) to the point you can’t tell them anything, so just know who you can open yourself up to and avoid pointless conversations that lead to fights you can’t win.

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74. wtf2010 on 13 Jan 2010 at 8:45 pm #

    Don’t be so quick to judge, you never know, a fat person may be in the process of losing weight. There are skinny people who are unhealthy, just like there are big people who are unhealthy. My questions is, if you are overweight for whatever reason, are you just supposed to go curl up and die? Stay in the house or something? I mean, until a person loses weight they still have to live, find a way to be confident and-heaven forbid according to some of you-go out and be in public. You don’t know anything about people’s lives and what they eat. I know skinny people who could eat a big girl under the table, why aren’t they singled out. I think my major problem with this rant is that the situation is much more complex than people are making it. And as somebody mentioned before, CALLING PEOPLE NAMES DOES NOT HELP THE PROBLEM.

75. Stacie on 15 Jan 2010 at 11:42 pm #

    This needed to be said…We need to stop talking about extra extra large is beautiful. That is one of the reasons I became annoyed with Monique for encouraging women to continue to be overweight. I was diagnosed with a lung disease which meant i had to start taking Prednisone. I literally went from a size 4 to an 18 and over 200lbs in 8 months! and it wasn’t cute. I did what i could to lose the weight & im now @ a size 10 and loving it…That being said I was miserable because carrying around that extra weight was hard, from not being able to tie my shoe..to my thighs rubbing together. I just dont get how people think it’s healthy. If i could go to the track & walk the weight off with a lung disease then why cant everyone?

76. datGurl! on 17 Jan 2010 at 7:52 am #

    I know that person in that pic is a hot mess and there should be NO WAY she thougtht she looked good!

    her friends or family shoulda told her…

    datGurl!’s last blog post..what is wrong with this biatch??

77. Anonymous on 23 Jan 2010 at 9:26 pm #

    As a professor of human development at a local state college, this article is on point. 2 3rds of America is overweight and we are indeed in a healthcare crisis. The terms thick, built, big boned, and the like seem to say one thing (over-weight). We are sending the wrong message to our children regarding food period. If being obese becomes a pre-existing condition, the highest paid organizations in America will be our health maintenance organizations. (HMO’s).
    Great Article.

78. MTiffany on 03 Feb 2010 at 2:27 am #

    It’s good to have “meat on your bones” because meat is muscle, not fat!

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    It’s good to have “meat on your bones” because meat is muscle, not fat!

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88. ola on 08 Mar 2010 at 11:30 pm #

    This article is very much on target. It bothers me to see young girls (12-16) walking around with tight jeans and belly buster tee shirts on. Their bellys are jiggling and hanging over their tight jeans while they walk down the streets eating hamburgers. It’s sad to see that they don’t have any pride in their appearance. It’s a shame to promote Gaby as a positive role model for young girls when the fact is she is a walking health bomb waiting to explode if she does not lose at least 250-300 pounds. It’s not even about her being a size 10-12, it’s about her being healthy and I can look at her and know that she is NOT healthy carrying the weight she is carrying. Let’s be real with our young people and help them deal with their realities rather than enabling,promoting and cosigning bad habits.

89. Ahtapot on 16 Mar 2010 at 7:54 am #

    Güzel Teşekkürler.

90. Blogkaan on 24 Mar 2010 at 5:16 am #

    Omg. Nice article. Thanks for sharing.

    Blogkaan’s last blog post..Beterz - Bedava Hediye Veren Bahis Sitesi

91. darjeeling on 25 Mar 2010 at 8:02 pm #

    The studies that proved this have been going on for a 10 year period to prove the results through time. This is not a study of a few people either; the studies on this topic included over 1,700 adult subjects!

    darjeeling’s last blog post..Clear braces the only option for straight teeth

92. darjeeling on 25 Mar 2010 at 8:03 pm #

    No matter what you choose to do, understand that smiling is a lot healthier that we knew just a few years ago.

    darjeeling’s last blog post..Clear braces the only option for straight teeth

93. Chat Sitesi on 06 Apr 2010 at 8:42 am #

    thank youu admin verry good!

    Chat Sitesi’s last blog post..Meteoroloji’den yağış uyarısı

94. ankara dil kursu on 23 Apr 2010 at 7:45 am #

    Ankara dil kursu, ingilizce kursu, almanca kursu, fransızca eğitimi, ispanyolca kursu, arapça eğitimi ve rusça dil eğitimi vermektedir.

95. sohbet on 02 May 2010 at 7:06 pm #

    Admin THANX

96. Mavi yolculuk on 19 May 2010 at 12:57 pm #

    he studies that proved this have been going on for a 10 year period to prove the results through time. This is not a study of a few people either; the studies on this topic included over 1,700 adult subjects! ı dont think that but maybe you re right

    Mavi yolculuk’s last blog post..Çeşme Otel Hotel ve Konaklama Mekanları

97. hediye seçenekleri on 19 May 2010 at 1:00 pm #

    Hediyenin hasi burada, in there no

    hediye seçenekleri’s last blog post..Bursaspordan Şampiyonluk Hediyesi

98. German@Bariatric Surgery on 19 Jul 2010 at 4:53 pm #

    That is so true! Thanks for the post!

99. datGurl! on 19 Aug 2010 at 1:25 am #

    God if this isnt the truth! I am a firm believer of just coz they make in your size dont mean you have to put it on. Aint nothin sexy about flab hangin and jigglin’ everywhere.

    jmo*

    datGurl!’s last blog post..Disgruntled Co-Worker?

100. Laptop Sticker on 29 Aug 2010 at 3:57 pm #

     than u very much ..

     Laptop Sticker’s last blog post..Türkler uçuyor: AMD işlemciyle elde edilen 3DMark Vantage rekoru Türkiye’de

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